


In Parallel

by broedym



Series: Parallels [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Related, DameRey, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-21 12:56:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15558201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broedym/pseuds/broedym
Summary: “I don’t need a chaperone,” Rey insisted as soon as Leia outlined her request. “I can do this on my own.”“I’m no chaperone, sweetheart,” Poe bit back, and Rey found that maybe she didn’t like his face so much after all.—A re-imagining of the events between (and during) TFA and TLJ, if Poe accompanied Rey to Ahch-To to find Luke Skywalker instead of Chewbacca.





	1. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little what-if, Damerey-style… This won’t be a retelling of scenes from the movies though they will be touched upon, to follow a similar arc. This one has a lot less Chewie and a lot more Poe “No baggage from the Battle of D’Qar” Dameron on Ahch-To.

Rey could hear the celebrations in the hangar as she passed, but did not join in. It wasn’t that she hadn’t been invited. The raucous reception she’d received along with Chewbacca and the other pilots when they’d returned to the Resistance base on D’Qar should have made her feel welcome, she supposed. But after everything that had happened in the mere days since her life had been turned upside down by a lost droid, Rey was in no mood to celebrate.

A whole planetary system had been obliterated by a totalitarian faction.

Han Solo was dead.

Finn was critically wounded.

And she had almost died at the hands of a lightsaber-wielding monster.

Rey’s head was still spinning as she tried to come to terms with all of it, not to mention the mysterious power she had felt grow within her when facing down Kylo Ren... When she had somehow summoned Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber from across the snowy clearing in the woods of Starkiller Base. She wasn’t quite ready to deal with that, and distracted herself by focusing on Finn instead.

She waited outside the medical center while doctors and droids worked on him. She could see the urgency of their actions but heard nothing through the thick glass that separated her from Finn’s bedside. Members of the Resistance passed her in the corridor yet did not stop to speak to her. Rey knew how to make herself inconspicuous. She had been pressed up against the cold concrete wall outside the medbay for half an hour when a young blonde woman finally spoke to her.

“Are you Rey?” she asked with a tight smile, and received a wary nod in return. “Lieutenant Connix. General Organa asked me to look after you.”

“I don’t need anything,” Rey replied. She had her bag and staff, retrieved from the _Millennium Falcon_.

“We have a room ready so you can clean up. Some food too, if you’re hungry.”

At the mention of food Rey’s stomach rumbled. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate. With a reluctant glance in Finn’s direction, she followed the other woman down winding corridors, carefully memorizing the way back to the medbay. She supposed she could spend a little time away from Finn while they worked on him, and take up her vigil again as soon as she was done.

The room Connix showed her to was nondescript – spartan, but for a fold-out cot, a desk and a single chair.

“The refresher’s in here,” the woman said, indicating another door, “and there’s towels, everything you’ll need. And the General thought you might like a change of clothes.”

She pointed to a folded pile of gray fabric on the bed before crossing the small space to lift the lid from a tray on the desk to reveal more food in a single plate than Rey had seen in…forever.

“If there’s anything else you need you can contact me on this,” she went on, handing her a commlink. “Kaydel, that’s me.”

Connix smiled again at her and Rey mirrored the expression after a few seconds, still coming to grips with her surroundings.

“Thank you,” she managed to say.

“When you’ve had time to freshen up I’ll be back to collect you so you can meet with General Organa.”

Rey nodded, glad that she would be seeing Leia again. Their brief meeting had been strangely intimate – she’d felt an immediate connection to the older woman who had hugged her in a comforting, motherly way that made Rey’s chest ache. The General’s calm presence had immediately put her at ease, despite the enormous grief Leia must have been feeling. Han Solo had been her husband, killed at the hands of their son. Rey didn’t know how anyone could be so strong faced with those circumstances.

Connix left her with a reassuring glance, and Rey was alone. Finally. She looked around the room, hesitating only briefly before selecting a warm bun from the tray and holding it to her nose. She inhaled deeply, the sweet aroma overwhelming, before she took a bite and found it tasted even better. Rey tried a few more items from the tray, not recognizing any of the food, but it was all delicious, as was the blue milk that accompanied the meal.

The refresher was the next revelation. She’d seen showers before on the ships she stripped for parts but never tried one herself. There was not enough water on Jakku for such luxuries. She marveled at the rushing water which she quickly learned she could adjust in terms of strength and temperature, and was soon standing under the hot spray washing the sweat and grime from her body. It wasn’t until that moment that Rey realized how much she hurt – her back felt like one big bruise from when Kylo Ren had slammed her into a tree with nothing more than a motion of his hand. She was covered in small cuts from the forest branches (a definite surprise to learn that something as beautiful as trees could actually be so painful).

The water made her feel better, however, and she stayed in the shower until the heat started to drain. Once dried, she changed into the soft gray pants and tunic that had been left for her, and felt surprisingly energetic despite everything she’d been through. Rey ate a bit more, uncertain where her next meal was coming from, when there was a knock at the door.

“Are you ready to see General Organa?” Connix asked, after Rey let her in.

“Yes, I just need to…” Rey scrambled to collect her clothes that she’d left by the refresher door, and objected vehemently when Connix wanted to take them from her. “I need these, they’re mine.”

“I’ll just take them to be cleaned, then I’ll return them to you. Is that okay?”

Rey reluctantly handed them over, deciding to trust the lieutenant with her possessions, for now anyway. She followed her down another series of corridors, which made cataloguing her location harder. They ended up in a command center, and rather than meeting the General alone, Rey found herself standing in a room with almost a dozen other members of the Resistance.

She backed herself against the wall as Leia and some of the officers discussed a map – no doubt linked to the one that BB-8 had been charged with keeping safe. She was proved right when the spherical droid’s portion of the map was matched with that of another astromech unit they called R2, and the chart to Luke Skywalker’s location was complete. In the ensuing cheers and embraces at the news, Rey found herself drawn into a spontaneous hug by the dark-haired man beside her. The stilted conversation that followed revealed he was BB-8’s owner who she’d heard so much about.

Poe Dameron, the hero pilot. With a friendly grin and shining eyes he confirmed that he knew who she was, after Rey shared only her name. She found herself smiling back at him before their attention returned to Leia. She dismissed the assembled crew to return to the gathering in the hangar where the celebrations were ongoing.

“Rey, please join me,” Leia called to her, indicating a smaller meeting space off the command center.

Rey crossed the room, her steps faltering only slightly when the General added, “Commander Dameron, you too.”

 

———

 

“I don’t need a chaperone,” Rey insisted hotly as soon as Leia outlined her request. “I can do this on my own.”

She didn’t know why or how exactly, but it made perfect sense that she would be the one to seek out Luke Skywalker and return him to the Resistance. She had his lightsaber, and it was clear that she had some connection to the Force that she desperately needed to understand. Who better than a Jedi Master to help her? What she didn’t want or need was a stranger tagging along.

“I’m no chaperone, sweetheart,” Poe Dameron bit back, and Rey found that maybe she didn’t like his face so much after all. His arms were crossed over his chest and he glowered at the General, apparently just as annoyed at her plan as Rey was.

“You’ll both go,” Leia stated, the tiredness evident in her voice. She turned away from them, busying herself with a datapad on her desk. “Besides, you’ll need a co-pilot if you’re going to take the _Falcon_.”

Rey glared at Poe and found he was side-eyeing her too, as they silently tried to determine who was the pilot and who was the co-pilot in that scenario.

“Co-pilots, both of you,” Leia confirmed when she faced them once more.

“General, with all due respect, I’m an officer,” Poe said, clearly unused to not being in charge of his own mission.

“That’s right, Commander. And so is Rey. I’m giving her a field commission of commander, like the Jedi before her. So, like I said, co-pilots.”

“Jedi?” Rey and Poe managed to say in perfect unison.

Her thoughts whirled. “I’m not a Jedi. I’m not even part of the Resistance,” Rey stammered.

“You are now, if you’ll accept this mission. And I sincerely hope you do,” said Leia, growing more grave. “My brother disappeared years ago, and we need him. Now. We cannot wait another moment. The destruction of Starkiller Base has dealt a blow to the First Order, but they are still powerful. The New Republic government has been decimated, and most of our allies and resources with it. We are all that stands between further tyrannical rule over the galaxy. We need Luke with us. _I_ need your help, Rey. Please.”

“Of course,” Rey found herself agreeing without thinking.

Leia turned her gaze on Poe. “Commander, yours is an order, but know that I need you on this mission, too.”

“Yes, General,” Poe replied formally, but Rey could see his expression soften in response to Leia’s honest plea.

“If we’re taking the _Millennium Falcon_ wouldn’t it be better for Chewie to go as well?” Rey asked. It seemed wrong taking the ship without either of its rightful owners.

Leia’s eyes dropped, sadness seeping into her features. “I’ve asked him to remain here with me. Chewie will need some time to recover.”

She didn’t elaborate but they knew she was referring to the loss of Han Solo. Chewbacca had been his loyal offsider for decades, long before Leia even met him. Rey was touched to see that even in her own grief, the General was concerned for the Wookiee’s well-being.

“Artoo and Beebee-Ate will accompany you,” said Leia. “The _Falcon_ is being prepared as we speak. Go to this planet and bring Luke back to us. And may the Force be with you.”

Rey didn’t fully understand the phrase but she found herself nodding solemnly in response. She glanced at Poe before gathering her bag and quarterstaff, already trying to work out the way back to the medical center so she could see Finn before they left.

“Poe, a word,” the General said quietly as Rey made her way out of the office.

He remained behind, and Rey tried to ignore the irritation that stirred within her when she realized they would be stuck together on a task she was perfectly capable of carrying out herself.

 

———

 

She sat by Finn’s bedside, having been told by one of the doctors that his condition was serious but stable. Lightsaber wounds were relatively unheard of these days so his injuries had proved challenging, but his prognosis was good. Rey was relieved. Finn was her first and only friend, even though their connection had been forged in crisis. For the first time in her life, Rey felt a true bond between them. And as much as his incessant talking and hand-holding had aggravated her at first, she found she missed both now.

Rey thought back to the families she’d observed on Jakku while she waited for the return of her own – how the parents comforted their children, how they showed affection. And though she was sure he was a few years older than her, she did the only thing she could think of and pressed a kiss to his forehead to show she cared.

She started when she heard someone clearing their throat by the door, and her cheeks flushed when she saw Poe standing there. He had changed from his orange flight suit into civilian clothes, though his dark leather jacket bore a rebel insignia on its sleeve.

“You don’t need to lurk, I’m going to the ship now,” she said defensively, concerned she’d lost track of time and was holding up the mission.

“I’m here to check on Finn, not you,” he replied. Poe stared down at the former stormtrooper but kept his distance.

“Oh.” Rey’s embarrassment grew. She could see the worry in his eyes and acknowledged that at least he seemed sincere. “The doctor said he’ll recover. It just might take some time.”

Poe exhaled in obvious relief. He took a few steps forward and laid his hand on top of Finn’s head for a few seconds, before meeting her gaze.

“We should get going,” he said evenly, so it didn’t sound like an order.

Rey nodded and spared Finn a long, last look before leaving the medbay. Poe followed close behind, a duffel bag slung over one shoulder, but after a few moments she heard him cough pointedly and looked up to find she had taken a wrong turn. She scowled as she jogged to catch up with him and they made their way to the _Falcon_ without speaking.

There was plenty of activity on the concourse as mechanic crews worked on the X-wing starfighters that had not long returned from Starkiller Base. Poe made a beeline for a group of pilots standing by a distinctively painted black and orange ship that Rey immediately coveted. Her experience with X-wings was limited to an old simulator but she somehow knew she could fly it.

She left Poe talking to the pilots – his squadron, she guessed – and made her way up the ramp of the _Millennium Falcon_. BB-8 greeted her excitedly as soon as she was on board, and Rey grinned in response to the friendly droid. So unlike its master, she thought derisively.

“You must be Artoo, pleased to meet you,” she said to the freshly polished astromech, and was rewarded with a lengthy reply in droidspeak.

“Making friends?” Poe said behind her.

Rey gritted her teeth in response, even though the comment was made lightly. She let out a long breath, determined not to let Poe Dameron get under her skin. She had far more important things to worry about than cocky Resistance pilots, no matter how many Starkiller Bases they blew up.

She stowed her gear in the main hold and made her way to the cockpit, only to find him already there in the pilot’s seat. Anger surged within her, especially when she saw he was smirking to himself.

Rey sat down with a huff in the co-pilot chair, running through the preflight checklist in her mind and blocking him out the best she could. Poe confirmed their departure clearance with the base tower.

“Let’s go to Ahch-To,” he said, far too cheerily for her liking.

Poe pressed a few buttons on the console and waited, but nothing happened. He tapped a couple more. Rey couldn’t prevent a surge of glee from erupting in the form of laughter.

“Hang on, have you ever flown the _Falcon_?”

“I can fly anything, sweetheart,” he grumbled, using the sarcastic pet name again that rankled. “I’ve flown freighters before.”

“But not the _Millennium Falcon_ ,” Rey concluded with another chortle. So much for being an ace pilot, she thought. She pointed to a lever. “That one.”

He scowled as he followed her lead. Her hands moved quickly over the console as she completed the rest of the startup sequence from the co-pilot seat.

“ _Now_ let’s go to Ahch-To,” she said, her hazel eyes twinkling.

Poe chewed at the inside of his cheek as he maneuvered the Falcon upwards. A smug smile settled on Rey’s lips.

 

———

 

Once they were clear of D’Qar, Poe finished inputting the details into the navicomputer to calculate the jump to lightspeed. When it was ready, they pushed forward on the controls together and felt the familiar swoop as the ship punched into hyperspace.

Rey sat back in her seat, watching the swirl of light before them for a while before growing self conscious sitting next to the pilot with whom she’d barely shared a civil word. She got up abruptly and exited the cockpit.

BB-8 and R2-D2 were in the corner of the ship’s lounge area conversing in rapid binary that was too fast for her to fully catch. Rey didn’t interrupt, and collected her satchel so she could retrieve the lightsaber she’d hidden in it. She hadn’t wanted to parade around the base with the weapon attached to her belt. She was still trying to come to terms with how she had fought Kylo Ren, instinctively handling the saber despite having never used one before. Whatever strength had stirred within her meant the lightsaber was like an extension of her arm...elegant, powerful, and deadly.

Her breath hitched in her throat when she thought about standing over Ren, her glancing blow having sliced a swath down his face and chest. Revenge for Finn and Han. Revenge for holding her captive. She had held his life in her hands for the briefest of moments, when she could have chosen to end it all there and then. The feeling had been dark and enticing, and oh so easy to succumb to. She wondered what would have happened had the disintegrating planet not opened up a cavernous trench between them, making it impossible to achieve.

Rey sat on the lounge bench and turned the lightsaber over in her hands, studying the intricate hilt of the Jedi weapon. It really was a thing of beauty. She thought about returning it to its rightful owner, the long lost Jedi Master who was so desperately missed by his sister and the Resistance. All she knew of Luke Skywalker was myth, and Rey doubted half of it was true. Still, it was hard to contain her excitement that she would get to meet him in person and, if she was lucky, he might be able to explain what was happening to her... And what her place was in the fight that had literally landed at her feet just days before.

She heard Poe’s approach and lowered the lightsaber to her side. He paused in the entrance to the main hold and looked at her thoughtfully.

“Do you know how to use that thing?”

Rey looked down at it, her grip tightening. “Apparently.”

“I hope you’re not gonna start swinging it around in here.”

“No, why would I?” she replied, frowning.

Poe shrugged. “I don’t know what you Jedi like to do in your spare time.”

“I’m not a Jedi.”

“Huh. Isn’t that part of the reason for this trip to the middle of nowhere?” he asked, moving closer. “To track down a Master to train you?”

“We’re on this mission to bring Luke Skywalker back to the Resistance. He’s the Jedi they need, not me.”

“Sure, okay,” Poe said with a dismissive wave of his hand. Rey noticed that his fingers were shaking but she didn’t comment on it after Poe quickly shoved his fist into his jacket pocket. “Well, I’m gonna get some shut-eye. Ship’s on auto-pilot, so you can as well.”

“I’m fine,” she replied haughtily, not wanting him to see any weakness though the idea of a warm bunk was immediately enticing.

“Whatever,” he muttered, and disappeared into one of the crew bunks.

Rey sighed and put the lightsaber back into her bag, wishing the journey would hurry up and be over.

 

———

 

Rey woke with a start. The lights in the lounge area had been lowered and she’d fallen asleep on the bench, at least for a few hours judging by the stiffness in her neck. She looked around to find both droids charging at their wall stations, and thankfully there was no sign of her co-pilot.

She made her way to the head quietly so as not to disturb him. She could at least enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasted. Rey took a moment to splash some water on her face to help wake up fully. Staring at herself in the mirror above the sink – still a novel concept after a lifetime of nothing more than dull reflective surfaces on Jakku – Rey noted how pale she was. Her freckles stood out noticeably and she wondered if they always did, or if the lack of decent sleep and non-stop action of the past few days were catching up with her. She smoothed her hair back from her face and tightened the three buns she habitually wore.

When she pushed the door release she ran straight into Poe who was trying to enter. Rey stammered an automatic apology, then her face flushed when she realized he was shirtless, his hair messy and somehow more curly than it had been on base. She tried not to linger on the sight of his broad, tan chest, or notice the glint of the silver chain that hung around his neck. She ignored the toned biceps that flexed as he grasped onto the door frame with one hand to steady himself, still half asleep. She pretended she didn’t see the sparse dark hair that started below his belly button and disappeared into his trousers.

“After you,” he mumbled with a lazy smile, and stepped out of the way so she could brush past him.

Rey banished the memory of the warmth that radiated from his skin as she made her way quickly back to the lounge area. She slapped a control panel to raise the lighting, and sat at the dejarik table where she silently berated herself over her reaction. It wasn’t the first bare chest she’d seen, she’d inadvertently glimpsed fully naked organics of many species in her time as a scavenger. She admitted Poe was undoubtedly one of the more aesthetically pleasing examples of the male human form, but that didn’t account for her childish response. Blaming surprise and a lack of sleep, she had sufficiently gotten over her embarrassment by the time he re-emerged, now fully dressed.

“How long was I out?” he groaned, sliding into the seating opposite her. He ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes still heavy-lidded.

“Four or five hours, maybe?” she offered, and she was pleased that she sounded nonchalant.

“Ugh, I’m hungry. You?”

Rey thought about the amount of food she’d eaten on D’Qar – in truth it was more than she would have usually had in three days on Jakku, but she nodded nonetheless.

“Let’s see what we’ve got.” Poe retrieved a small crate from the galley that Rey hadn’t seen before, guessing it had been loaded by the base crew.

He laid out a selection of fresh food, not the freeze-dried rations she was expecting, and it was hard to hide her astonishment. If Poe noticed he didn’t comment, and they ate in a companionable enough silence. Rey was careful to only consume half what he’d given her, surreptitiously keeping it aside for when she got hungry later.

“There’s plenty more in there,” he finally said, having watched her for a while. “We’ve got weeks’ worth of provisions. Not that this mission should take that long. So eat up.”

Rey burned with embarrassment, closely followed by annoyance that once again she was feeling self-conscious in front of him. But she quietly ate the rest of her meal.

He disappeared into the galley again and returned a short time later with two mugs of steaming caf. Han Solo had given it to her first, insisting all good pilots had a taste for proper caf. (“None of that packet shit,” he’d warned her gruffly.) Rey wouldn’t know one from the other, but accepted the cup from Poe and sipped at it appreciatively as if she did.

He sat back against his seat, seeming a little brighter for having eaten. Rey looked at him over the rim of her mug and noticed again how his hand shook when he held the cup to his lips, to the point where he had to use his other hand to steady it.

“What is that?” she asked bluntly.

Poe set his mug on the table and smiled grimly as he held up his right hand. The tremor grew more pronounced the longer he did, until he set it down and covered it with his left hand.

“Just a little side effect from my brief stay as a guest of the First Order,” he said flippantly. “Their interrogation techniques really leave a lot to be desired.”

Rey’s brow creased. “They interrogated you?”

“I think the more accurate term is torture, but yes.” Poe’s voice hardened while Rey’s mouth went dry.

“Why?”

“They wanted the map to Luke Skywalker. The fragment I stashed in BB-8 on Jakku.” The grimacing smile returned to Poe’s lips. “He’s a pretty sought after target, your Jedi Master. At least by that Kylo Ren fucker.”

Rey’s insides churned at the mention of his name and images of his evil visage pressing close to her face flashed through her mind. She wished she hadn’t eaten so much, the food now sitting in an uncomfortable lump in her stomach.

“He tried to get the map from me, too,” she said barely audibly. “He took me on Takodana.”

Her eyes met Poe’s briefly and she didn’t miss the heightened color in his cheeks, his ears bright red. She recognized the anger in him. And the shame.

“What did the doctors say about your hand?” she asked.

Poe didn’t respond immediately, as if he hadn’t heard her. “I haven’t told them,” he admitted eventually. “They’d have just grounded me. And I didn’t survive a crash landing on Jakku and make it back to the Resistance only to be told I couldn’t fly. I managed to lead my squadron on Takodana and the attack on Starkiller Base, so I guess it can’t be too bad, right?”

He seemed to be looking to her for validation so she nodded in response, unsure what to say.

“Besides, it wasn’t this pronounced before,” he went on. “I guess the adrenaline and stims wearing off isn’t helping.”

Silence fell as neither of them spoke. Rey cupped her hands around her mug of caf but didn’t drink any more for fear she’d lose the contents of her stomach if she did.

“Did he hurt you?” Poe demanded gravely, dark eyes boring into her.

Rey held his gaze, feeling a wave of unexpected relief to talk about it. “They roughed me up some. He tried…he tried to break into my mind to get to the memory of Beebee-Ate’s map fragment that I’d seen. But he couldn’t. I wouldn’t let him. I don’t know how, but I locked him out.” She looked away and let out a quiet snort. “I don’t think he liked that much.”

Poe pressed his lips together and nodded. “I couldn’t. Stop him, I mean.” The corners of his mouth turned down. “I could deal with the pain – the cuts, the punches, the electric shocks. Then he probed my mind and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop him... He found out that Beebee-Ate had the map from me. I led them right to you and Finn.”

Rey stiffened, her anger well and truly aimed at Kylo Ren and the First Order. “You didn’t know. Besides, we got away.”

“So why’s Finn lying in medbay, his back sliced open?”

“He came looking for me.” Rey’s eyes were downcast once more.

“Fuck,” Poe exclaimed after another long pause. “We really need to beat that Vader-wannabe fucker.”

“Fuck yes. Fucking arsehole,” Rey replied, which elicited a grin from Poe.

“You really are a pilot if you curse like that.”

“I swear like a Jakku scavenger. I could make your toes curl,” Rey joked.

A different look settled on Poe’s face at that, one that made her stomach flip-flop again. She wondered what the hell she’d eaten.

“I’m going to try and get some more sleep,” Poe said then, looking away from her. “We’ve still got over 15 hours ‘til we get there.”

“Okay.” Rey wondered if she’d offended him somehow when she had just been starting to warm to him.

Poe cleared away their meal remnants and returned for the mugs, neither of them having had much of the caf.

“There’s a whole separate bunk back there, you know,” he said. “You should try and get some sleep.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted obstinately once again.

“Suit yourself.”

Rey watched him go, wishing for nothing more than a proper bunk to stretch out on, and a warm blanket to wrap herself in. Instead, she curled herself into a ball as best she could on the bench seat, closed her eyes and tried not to think about anything at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe arrive at Ahch-To to track down a reluctant Jedi Master, and later Poe takes his clothes off. 
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Rey landed the _Millennium Falcon_ on a clearing near the ocean’s edge. The island’s uneven ground and inclines meant it was not droid-friendly, so R2-D2 and BB-8 remained with the ship as she and Poe readied themselves to go in search of Luke Skywalker. Rey was hesitant, her stomach clenching anxiously as they stepped off the _Falcon_ ’s ramp. She peered up the ancient stone steps that seemed to lead to her destiny. Or at least she hoped they did. She hoped she would find the answers she sought from the island’s reclusive inhabitant.

She walked ahead of Poe, grasping her staff as she scrambled up the sharp slope. Soon they were both panting from the effort, and stopped to catch their breath when they reached a small cluster of stone huts. There was no sign of anyone, though she could detect the lingering smell of smoke in the air from a campfire.

“Nice place,” Poe snorted.

She ignored him and continued up. Rey heard him sigh behind her before he followed. They eventually reached a grassy plateau and she stopped abruptly when she saw the gray cloaked figure ahead of them. He was facing the ocean, standing near the edge of a cliff. Rey’s heart was thumping painfully as she waited for him to turn around and she saw his weathered, bearded face for the first time. He raised his hands, one of them mechanical, and dropped his hood.

“Holy shit, it _is_ him,” Poe breathed at her side. He let out an astonished chuckle.

She didn’t know what he’d expected – they’d come all this way to find Luke Skywalker, and here he was. A frown creased her brow as she dismissed the words she’d been planning to say, the introductions she’d rehearsed to herself. They didn’t seem right anymore. Instinctively she reached into her bag and withdrew the lightsaber, and with an open, pleading gaze she held it out to him.

Skywalker looked angry. At least, she thought it was anger. He glared at her, saying nothing for a long, charged moment. His eyes narrowed as her outstretched arm swayed slightly, her already tense muscles burning in protest as she held the weapon aloft. Rey tried again after stepping closer to him, while Poe stayed where he was.

When she offered him the lightsaber this time Skywalker took it, turning the weapon over in his hands until he looked right at her. Rey felt a tug of hope. But before she knew what was happening he tossed it unceremoniously over his shoulder and stalked past both of them. Rey turned to see Poe open his mouth to say something, but closed it again when Skywalker kept walking and disappeared down the path.

“That...didn’t go the way I thought it would,” Poe said, breaking the silence.

Rey frowned in annoyance and confusion. Annoyed at the accuracy of Poe’s words, and confused at the flat out rejection of the legendary Jedi Master.

“What now?” asked Poe.

“What do you mean, ‘what now’?” she retorted. “We go after him and explain why we’re here.”

She brushed past him, following after Skywalker. Poe eventually caught up with her some time after she’d returned to the stone huts and was trying unsuccessfully to get the Jedi Master to open his door. She shrugged weakly at Poe, so far nothing had worked – mentions of Leia and their need of his help had all been ignored.

“Here, you might need this,” Poe said, handing her the lightsaber so she could return it to the safety of her bag. “I guess we should just wait?”

It seemed like as good an idea as any, so they found themselves sitting by an empty fire pit opposite Skywalker’s hut.

“Maybe we should have called ahead,” offered Poe, after nearly a full half hour of Rey staring broodingly at the closed metal door. “Dropped him a holo or something.”

“Shut up,” she muttered under her breath.

“I’m just saying, maybe the General could have given us a heads up that her brother’s a hermit who clearly doesn’t like unannounced visitors turning up on his secluded planet.”

“We just need to explain that the Resistance needs his help,” she said rationally.

“Or maybe this whole trip was a waste of time. He left for a reason all those years ago. It’s not like anything has gotten better to make him want to return.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You don’t know the story about the Jedi Temple, how the Knights of Ren destroyed and killed the padawans who wouldn’t join them? All led by that fucker Kylo Ren,” Poe explained.

He filled in a few of the other details for her, all of it new information to her except for the strange visions she’d had when she touched the lightsaber for the first time on Takodana. Now they made a bit more sense.

“I don’t blame him for wanting to hide away from it all,” Poe said. “Although I would have picked a more exciting place than this rock.”

Rey peppered him with questions, figuring she needed to know as much as she could if she was going to try and convince Skywalker to return with them. They kept it up for an hour, the conversation descending into bickering at least twice, when they were both startled by the crash of the metal door being flung open.

“Are you two ever going to shut up?” Skywalker roared as he emerged from his hut.

They scrambled to their feet, stiff from the descending cold.

“Master Skywalker, your sister sent us,” Rey stated as calmly as her thumping chest would let her. “We’re from the Resistance.”

“You said that already,” he grouched, stringy gray hair falling into his eyes.

It was Poe’s turn to try. “General Skywalker, my mother served with you during the Battle of Endor. I’m—”

Luke peered at him. “You’re Shara Bey’s son.”

“That’s right,” said Poe in surprise.

“You take after your mother, Poe Dameron. Fly like her too, I bet.”

“I hope that’s true, sir.” Poe’s voice had lost all its usual bravado. He cleared his throat. “Leia asked us to come.”

“She said that already as well,” Skywalker said, motioning with his head towards Rey.

“We have to take you with us back to the Resistance base. We need your help. We need the Jedi Order,” Rey persisted. “Master Skywalker—”

“I’m no Master, not anymore. And there is no Jedi Order.” He sat down heavily on one of the stone benches, gathering his robes around him. “You wasted your time. Tell my sister—”

“No!” exclaimed Rey, planting her feet firmly. “I won’t tell her anything. You can tell her yourself when we take you to D’Qar. The _Millennium Falcon_ is right down there…”

“The _Falcon_?” Luke breathed, looking up in amazement. “Are Han and Chewie here, too?”

Rey looked at Poe and they shared a tense moment.

“General—” Poe started, but Luke held up his hand.

“I’m not a general anymore, either. Just Luke.”

“Master Skywalker,” Rey said, unable to bring herself to use his first name, “Han Solo is dead.”

Luke’s eyes closed and he inhaled deeply.

“It was—”

“Ben,” Luke murmured. “It was Ben.”

He rose slowly from his seat. “I knew the day would come when his transition to the dark side would be complete. You wasted your time coming here. I can’t help you. Or Leia.”

Luke’s steps seemed drained of energy as he walked back into his hut and pushed the door closed behind him. The only sound they could hear was the crash of the ocean below them and the cries of the local bird-like creatures.

Poe pursed his lips. “So…”

“If you say ‘what now?’ I _will_ hurt you,” Rey warned, still staring at the metal door.

 

———

 

Night was beginning to fall as they returned from the _Falcon_ with their gear and provisions. Rey insisted on staying close by Skywalker in case he had a change of heart and Poe, for some reason that was lost on her, insisted on staying too when the ship would have been much more hospitable. The droids remained on board, keeping watch to protect it from the noisy creatures that fearlessly began trying to nest within the ship. They’d already caught one chewing at some wires and BB-8 had proudly reported the unidentified organism had been zapped and quickly fled before any damage could be done.

Rey peeked inside one of the disused huts – there was a stone bench that would make do as a bed, albeit an uncomfortable one. At least she had a poncho and blanket from the _Falcon._  Poe wisely made himself at home in a separate hut, not even suggesting they share. She got to work setting fires for both of them in response to the rapid drop in temperature, while he prepared their dinner. There was enough for Skywalker too but he didn’t re-emerge from his hut and they didn’t like to disturb him again, at least for now.

She turned in as soon as they’d finished eating, uninterested in trying to converse with Poe any more that day. Rey preferred to process her thoughts in peace as she settled into her makeshift bed.

She slept fitfully, but it wasn’t the hard stone bench or the creeping cold that disturbed her. Her dreams were dark, full of whispered voices that called to her, pleading, in desperate need of help, but she couldn’t find their source. She woke with her pulse pumping in her ears and squinted against a harsh white light that suddenly appeared in the doorway.

“Are you alright?” Poe asked, and she could hear the real concern in his voice.

Rey pulled the blanket up to her chin despite the fact she felt hot and clammy. “What? Yes, why?”

“You were yelling,” he replied, taking a few steps into the hut and thankfully lowering the light so she could just make out his face in the inky blackness.

“I was?” Rey swallowed hard.

“Must have been a helluva nightmare. You scared me half to death.” He chortled softly and took a seat uninvited by her feet.

She pulled away and sat up beside him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“Truth is this place is kinda creepy, don’t you think?” He smiled again but it was strained. “I swear I keep hearing these noises…”

“Maybe it’s haunted,” she offered wanly, forcing herself to breathe slowly and evenly until she felt more like herself again.

“It’s a mystical Jedi island, millennia old. Chances are pretty high.”

Rey laughed quietly but he didn’t join in. “Wait, you are joking, right?”

“You haven’t heard the stories? You really have been living under a rock your whole life, haven’t you?”

She doubted he meant to insult her, but the comment chafed painfully. “If you’re afraid why don’t you go sleep in the ship? The droids can protect you.”

“Maybe I will,” he said, ignoring the intended slight. “The sooner we leave this place the better.”

“We’re not leaving until we do what we came here for, convincing Skywalker to return,” said Rey resolutely.  

“Great,” Poe muttered.

He made no move to leave, to Rey’s chagrin, even though the last thing she felt like doing was going back to sleep and dreaming again. She saw the pale blue light peeking out from his jacket sleeve, having noticed it before on the _Falcon_.

She reached out to touch her fingertips to his cuff briefly. “What is that?”

“This?” Poe set the torch down on the bench between them and pushed his sleeve up so she could get a better look at the glowing bracelet on his wrist. “It’s a cloaked binary beacon. Something Leia gave me before we left. The Resistance will probably need to evacuate D’Qar as a precaution. We don’t know what the First Order will do in response to losing their superweapon. This will lead us back to them, no matter where they are.”

Rey contemplated this for a moment. “It was you, wasn’t it? On Starkiller Base. I heard some people saying you were the one who fired the shots that destroyed it.”

“It’s what I do – blow stuff up.” Poe fiddled with the bracelet. “It wouldn’t have worked if Finn hadn’t taken out the oscillator shields.”

“Han and Chewie, too. They did the real damage.”

“Yeah.” Poe gazed up at the stars that were visible through the hut’s smokehole. “I still can’t believe Ren killed his own father.”

Rey tightened the blanket around her. She didn’t want to relive that terrible moment when Han Solo fell. She’d known him for such a short time but she felt his loss keenly. She couldn’t begin to imagine what Leia was going through, despite her outward stoicism, and said as much to Poe.

“I don’t know either,” he said. “It’s not the first time she’s surprised me, though. She’s the strongest person I know. I’d follow her anywhere.”

Poe told her the story of how he’d left the New Republic Navy when Leia recruited him into the Resistance. Rey found she liked listening to him, imagining herself in that kind of life which was so different from her own.

“I was born in the middle of one rebellion,” he went on. “I guess it makes sense that I’d end up in another one.”

“Your mother’s a pilot?” she asked, remembering what Luke had said.

“She was. She flew for Leia too, back in the day. My father was an Alliance soldier.”

“Where are they now?”

“Dad’s on Yavin 4, has been for 30 years since he left the military. My mother’s dead.”

“Oh.” Rey had nothing to say in response to that, and clearly it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about.

“Anyway,” he said, shifting in his seat, “hopefully we’re not stuck here too long. And Luke Skywalker lives up to the legend.”

“I hope so, too,” Rey replied, and was soon lost in her own thoughts.

“You think you’re gonna be okay now?”

She looked up at him, feeling a little less defensive even if she didn’t sound it. “Of course.”

“Try to get some sleep.” As Poe got up he patted her shoulder awkwardly. “Good night, Rey.”

She waited until he was gone before lying back down, but she remained wide awake.

 

———

 

They were sat outside Skywalker’s hut at dawn the next morning, Poe rubbing his eyes after his broken sleep, when Luke emerged. He looked at them both with a withering glare and walked away on one of the paths. Without a word they got up to follow him.

They kept it up for the entire morning as Skywalker went about his routine, a series of tasks that astounded them but were treated as mundane by the Jedi Master. They said nothing as they shadowed him, waiting to see if he’d crack first, which he didn't.

When they returned to the huts they met the island’s Caretakers, as Luke finally deigned to explain, before he conversed rapidly with the strange bird-like creatures in their native tongue and gesticulated towards the intruders. Whatever he said wasn’t favorable, and Rey and Poe had to put up with their accusing stares and muttering as the Caretakers went about their work.

Luke spent the rest of the day holed up in his hut, so they decided to use the afternoon to explore some of the island.

“Imagine living here all alone, except for those bird-nuns,” Poe said as they walked the rocky clifftop. “I’d go crazy.”

“I don’t know, seems nicer than the desert,” replied Rey. “At least it rains here.”

They’d experienced their first Ahch-To downpour that morning – Rey’s first ever – and she was still smiling about it.

“You get used to it,” she added a little later. “The loneliness.”

She could feel Poe looking at her as they walked and she wished she hadn’t said it out loud. She didn’t want his pity.

“Don’t you just crave, I don’t know, some sort of connection?” he probed. “Even if it’s just conversation?”

‘Does bartering for portions count?’ she wondered to herself, but this time kept her mouth shut.

“I don’t know how you do it,” he said with a shake of his head.

“I don’t know how _you_ do it,” she retorted. “All those people crammed onto that base? They were so loud.”

“You get used to it,” he repeated back to her. Poe smiled, a genuine expression as he held her gaze for a moment. “You’ll see.”

Rey looked away. “I don’t know. I think I’ll probably go back to Jakku.”

He snorted. “Why? I mean, no offence, I’ve been to your home world and it is _not great_.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand,” she said, having learned a little of his relatively charmed past the previous night.

“So explain it.”

She huffed a few breaths, deciding if it was wise to share anything personal. He had been open with her, but Rey was guarded after a lifetime of having to look after herself. She eventually decided to take a chance.

“My family will be coming back for me someday. Soon.”

“Coming back from where?”

Rey instantly regretted having spoken. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

“I just think we all assumed you’d join the Resistance. You clearly know how to kick Ren’s ass.” Poe glanced at her appreciatively. “Leia told me what happened.”

Rey didn’t like to think about it, it conjured too many thoughts of Finn getting wounded, and Kylo Ren offering to teach her about the power that was growing within her. The power she’d hoped Luke Skywalker could instruct her in, so she could finally understand what it all meant and her place in it.

“You don’t have to be alone,” he reminded her. “You have Finn. And Leia. Beebee-Ate, the little traitor, adores you.”

Rey grinned in response.

“And I know we got off on the wrong foot—”

“You mean how you thought I shouldn’t come on this mission?” she griped. “Or how you thought you’d be better piloting the _Falcon_ despite the fact you’d never flown it before, and I have? Or how you’re incredibly annoying?”

Poe’s jaw jutted forward but his mouth twitched with a smile. “Yes, all of those things. And despite them, you should know I’m here for you, too.”

She bit back her surprise at the offer of a truce. “I’ll think about it. Staying, I mean.”

“If you want to,” he said with a casual shrug.

They walked on in silence, following the path of a stream that flowed from somewhere above them. As they descended towards the bottom of the island they saw it led to a small waterfall that emptied into a rocky pool, mostly covered in mist. Rey held her hand to her nose at the sulphuric smell that hit her, but Poe grinned. He made his way to the pool’s edge and tentatively dipped his fingers into the water. His smile widened.

“Must be volcanic,” he said over his shoulder. “It’s a hot spring.”

Rey crouched next to him and felt the water for herself. It _was_ hot, surprisingly so. Before she knew what was happening Poe sat back on his ass and tugged his boots off.

“What are you doing?” she asked with a frown.

“I’m going in. Come on.”

He stood to pull off his jacket and shirt, quickly followed by his blaster, belt and trousers. Rey looked away, embarrassed, but he stopped at his shorts and stepped carefully into the water. He hissed at the temperature, and waded quickly towards the waterfall where the cold combined with the hot spring. Judging by the contented look on his face, Rey guessed it was just right. The pool was barely chest deep but Poe floated on his back so he was fully submerged.

“Seriously, you should try this,” he said. “It’s like a warm bath.”

Rey didn’t know what that was, or why it was something she’d want to experience. She’d read about swimming, but the idea of submerging herself in water was too strange. Downright wasteful, where she came from. Eventually she relented enough to remove her boots and sit on the rocky ledge nearer to where he was, dropping her bare feet into the water. She splashed them experimentally, and liked the feeling.

“I won’t look,” said Poe quietly and she realized he’d been contemplating her. “If you want to get in.”

Rey felt her cheeks grow warm. “I’m fine where I am.”

“Okay, but you don’t know what you’re missing.” Poe lay back in the water again, his arms splayed out either side of him. The tremor in his hand returned, causing the water to ripple around it.

The sky was threatening rain again so he didn’t stay in for long. First he disappeared under the water which caused Rey to hold her breath for an anxious few seconds until he resurfaced, apparently unharmed. His dark hair was slicked down as he made his way back to the pool’s edge, then he scrubbed his fingers through it until it was a messy, wet mop.

Rey pulled her feet from the water, which were now pink from the ankle down, and rested them on the grass to dry. Poe was using his shirt to dry himself then stopped when he saw she was watching him. He quirked an eyebrow until she realized he was waiting for her.

“You might want to turn around for this bit. I mean, I don’t mind, but I’ve lived half my life in shared barracks.”

She got the impression he was laughing at her even though it wasn’t audible, and shifted her gaze quickly to the water. Rey heard him strip off his wet shorts and found herself focusing intently on the mist as it curled over the hot pool. When he cleared his throat she glanced up and saw he was back in his trousers and leather jacket, now worn over his bare chest. The black shorts and shirt were at his feet while he pulled his boots back on.

“Here,” he said, and tossed her the shirt. “To dry your feet.”

Rey hesitated to use the garment but he assured her that he had another one on the _Falcon_. “I need to go check on the droids anyway.”

She made swift work of drying her feet and getting her boots on, and gave him the shirt back when he held out his hand. Poe smiled to himself, tucked it under his arm, and held out his hand again. Catching on, she blushed only slightly and grasped it so he could help her up. She noticed the chain around his neck again and wondered about the circle of silver that hung on it, but didn’t ask.

“Wanna come with me?”

“Huh?” she grunted, needing to refocus her attention.

“To the ship.”

“No, you go ahead.” Rey was looking forward to having a little distance between them. She knew she wasn’t great with people – there were plenty of good reasons to keep to herself where she came from. But she was increasingly wary about the ease with which she’d grown used to Poe, just as she had with Finn. Rey didn’t know when she’d started wanting companionship, and it was something she needed to get under control. Especially if she did end up going back to Jakku.

She watched him make his way down towards the rocky outcrop where they’d left the _Millennium Falcon_ , before heading back to Skywalker to try persuading him again. Dark clouds gathered and it seemed she would get to experience a blustery rain storm again. Then she heard the voices.

Rey stopped in her tracks and waited. It didn’t take long before she heard more whispers, and she had the overwhelming feeling they were beckoning her. She followed the sound with anticipation rather than fear. The voices were familiar. She had dreamed of them, many times, during the lonely nights in her AT-AT. They were comforting, mostly, if mysterious.

She made her way along a well worn stone path until she saw the huge trunk of a long-dead tree shrouded in mist. The encouraging whispers grew louder. She’d seen the tree before, too, somehow she knew its gnarled bark by sight and touch. She slipped through the split in the trunk, knowing exactly where it was. Rey looked around in awe before her gaze was drawn to the ledge deep within the tree which was lit by a weak beam of light. The strange books upon it were different sizes, their spines covered in markings she didn’t recognize or could comprehend. They were the source of the whispers, she realized, as she reached out her hand towards them...

“Who are you?” a voice said behind her.

Rey turned around and gulped.

 

———

 

Poe had a fire going and was tending to it when Rey returned to the huts. There was barely any light left in the afternoon sky.

“Where the hell have you been?” he snapped. “I thought you’d gotten lost. Or fallen off a cliff or something.”

She was too distracted to react to his condescending tone, and quickly sat by the flames. She felt a chill seeping into her bones, unsure how much of it was to do with the temperature or the fateful conversation she had just had with Luke Skywalker.

Rey had confessed to him her deepest secret, her hidden fear...something she’d never had the words for before, or anyone to share it with who might understand. Anyone who might be able to help her. She knew that person was Luke Skywalker. She knew, somehow, what she supposed to become. A Jedi. Trained in the Force. Rey needed him, desperately, but he’d rejected her plea.   

She felt Poe take a seat beside her while her eyes remained focused on the fire.

“Did something happen?” he asked quietly. “Skywalker’s not in his hut.”

Rey drew her knees up to her chest.

“Did you talk to him?” Poe let out a frustrated breath when she didn’t respond. He reached down for a thermal canister and held it out to her. “Here, drink it.”

She looked at it, then at him, then at the canister again.

“It’s caf. It’s hot. Drink it,” he said.

Rey took a sip and was instantly grateful for the warmth in her mouth and throat. Poe said nothing, occasionally poking at the fire while he waited.

“He’s not going to help us,” Rey said finally. “I tried explaining again, but he won’t.”

Poe sighed. “Skywalker was right, this really is a waste of time. Leia should never have sent us.” He glanced at her then and frowned when he saw the tears welling in her eyes. “What happened? Did he say something to you?”

Rey shook her head, losing the battle to keep her emotions in check. Poe hesitated, then put an arm around her shoulders, his movements slow and considered. She didn’t pull away as she would have not long ago.

“I told him about me. That _I_ need his help. I need to understand what’s happening to me...what I am.” Rey sniffed indelicately, her grip on the caf tightening. “He said it’s time for the Jedi to end.”

Poe didn’t say anything, but he gave her arm a small squeeze.

“I don’t know what I was hoping for, really,” she said, trying to inject a little levity into her voice and failing. _What’s special about you_ , Skywalker had asked, and Rey knew the answer. “I’m nobody. I shouldn’t even be here.”

“Banthashit,” Poe replied gently. “You fought Kylo Ren. You protected Beebee-Ate. Without you, the First Order would have already reduced this Jedi planet to a pile of rubble.”

“I think that might have suited Master Skywalker just fine,” she said with a testy smile.

“Well, fuck him, then. If he’s not going to help you, or come back with us, let’s get the hell off this planet.” Poe dropped his arm as she gaped at him. “Seriously, we’re of more use back with the Resistance than waiting around here for a crazy old wizard who exiled himself.”

“What about Leia?” Rey asked. “She’s counting on us.”

“She knows her brother better than we do. And she knew this was a long shot.” Poe stood up and held his hand out to her to pull her up.

“We’re just going to leave?”

“Why not?” He packed up the food he’d prepared and retrieved the rest of his belongings from his hut.

Rey did the same, reclaiming her bag and quarterstaff, even if she didn’t fully agree with him. It was giving up. She followed him down the path that led to the _Falcon_ , however, because at least running away meant she didn’t have to deal with any of it. Maybe she’d be able to forget all about it, the strange longing within her. Maybe if she went back to scavenging the calling to a higher destiny would eventually fade away. Maybe that was all she could hope for.

Night had almost descended by the time they reached the _Falcon_ , and she felt Poe tense when they saw that the ship’s ramp was open. Clearly he hadn’t left it that way when he’d changed after the hot spring.

Rey reached into her bag and her fingers curled around the lightsaber just as Poe’s hand went to the blaster at his side. A cloaked figure came down the ramp and they froze when they saw that it was Luke Skywalker. His pale blue eyes were watery as he stared directly at Rey.

“I’m not coming with you,” he said with a gravelly voice. “But you get three lessons. Starting tomorrow at dawn.”

He walked away without another word, taking the stone steps with a swiftness and agility that belied his age. Rey stared after him, unsure what to think. But a small glimmer of possibility began to burn within her once more.

“I guess we’re staying,” Poe said, and she didn’t miss the hint of disappointment.

But then he nudged her shoulder with his and offered her an encouraging smile. Rey couldn’t help but grin back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks very much for comments and kudos thus far. I am most appreciative of the feedback. <3


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey receives an unwanted visitor.

Rey woke from a long sleep, feeling refreshed and energized after Skywalker agreed to train her. Or give her three lessons in the ways of the Force, at least. It was a start, and her chest swelled with anticipation as she sat up on the stone bench and smiled to herself.

Then she felt it – a curl of fear in her gut that grew until her blood ran cold. She sensed him before she saw him, staring back at her and mirroring her incomprehension. Rey didn’t hesitate – she grabbed the blaster Han had given her and fired with deadly aim at her enemy.

Rey tried to catch her breath, her thoughts and emotions chaotic. She ran out of the hut, still brandishing the weapon, and almost ran into Poe who was barreling towards her, blaster in hand.

“What is it?” he gasped.

“N-Nothing.” She looked behind her where stones had clattered to the ground from the gaping hole in the side of the hut.

“Are you alright?” asked Poe and he gripped her arm firmly, forcing her to look him. He quickly checked her over for injuries.

“It was an accident. I was cleaning my blaster,” she stammered. She didn’t know why her first instinct was to lie to him.  

Poe dropped his hand and let out an exasperated breath. “That’s all I need. Having to explain to Leia that our brilliant young Jedi accidentally shot herself.”

She kept her eyes downcast, barely listening to him. Poe re-holstered his weapon then checked hers.

“If you’re going to clean your blaster, put the fucking safety on,” he groused, and adjusted the settings before thrusting it back to her.

She took the gun but still didn’t look at him. Rey was scared to look anywhere for fear _he_ would be there. She heard Poe sigh.

“You just got a fright. So did I. It’s okay,” he said more calmly. “Come and have some breakfast.”

“I just need a minute,” Rey said. Still grasping the blaster she walked swiftly past the line of huts, putting some distance between them while she processed what had happened.

Just as she was convincing herself it had all been a bad dream, sound seemed to echo around her and she felt the same chill rush through her. She looked up and saw Kylo Ren just a few feet from her. He was right there...but at the same time he wasn’t. He was somewhere else, far from Ahch-To, yet she could both see and hear him when he held up a gloved hand towards her.

“You will bring Luke Skywalker to me,” he commanded.  

Rey’s agitated feelings quickly focused into a single emotion... pure, vitriolic rage. She gritted her teeth.

“You’re going to pay for what you did,” she spat at him.

 

———

 

Rey ended the day with more questions than answers as she started learning the ways of the Force. Master Skywalker was a reluctant teacher, insisting that the Jedi needed to end, and he grew impatient easily as she struggled to understand.

He had expressed true fear when she was drawn to the cold, shadowy place deep beneath the island, when all she wanted was to know more. Rey needed to learn its secrets...its power.

And he had compared her raw strength to that of Ben Solo, an idea that repulsed her. There was only darkness in the monster who now called himself Kylo Ren, and the notion that she was anything like him was unthinkable.

Rey told herself that was why she didn’t tell Master Skywalker of her mysterious interactions with Ren that morning. But she didn’t tell Poe either. She locked it inside for now, until she could work out what had happened.

She returned to the stone huts hours after Luke had abandoned her in the Jedi temple. She’d remained there alone, trying to make sense of it all herself. It was exhausting, and the last thing she needed was Poe bombarding her with questions about her training when she arrived. He was quick to point out that he’d spent a long day alone with only BB-8 and R2 for companionship, so he deserved a full account of what she and Skywalker had gotten up to.

All Rey could do was hold up a weary hand at him to beg a reprieve. She didn’t have sufficient energy to even begin to explain. Poe huffed in response, clearly annoyed, and set about cooking something over the open fire. Whatever it was it smelled delicious, and Rey forgot her exhaustion long enough to eat. He seemed placated somewhat by her enjoyment of the meal, and served her up an extra portion before she could ask for it.

“Got to keep your strength up,” he muttered, loading another log onto the fire before settling back against the stone to watch her eat. He massaged his right arm absently while he did.

“The Caretakers fixed your hut,” he said when she was finally full and stifling a yawn. “You’d never know you blew a hole right through it.”

Rey grimaced with embarrassment, followed by a sinking feeling when she thought about what precipitated the incident.

“I don’t think they like you much,” Poe added teasingly.

“I don’t blame them,” she replied dully.

She looked up to find him frowning at her.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

Rey contemplated telling him everything, but if she hadn’t been able to share her Kylo Ren secret with Master Skywalker for fear of his scorn, it seemed even more improbable that Poe would understand. He’d suffered at Ren’s own hands – was still suffering – so she knew exactly how Poe would react if he found out she could converse with their sworn enemy via some bizarre Force connection.

In the end she just nodded her head with what she hoped was a reassuring expression. “I’m just tired.”

Poe accepted it, even if he seemed a bit disappointed that she wouldn’t say more.

“Don’t stay up on my account,” he said. “Go to bed if you need to.”

Rey wasted no time in bidding him good night and went to her hut. It wasn’t yet fully dark but she dropped onto her uncomfortable bed and soon drifted into unconsciousness.

 

———

 

_There are whispers in the darkness, calling her name. She feels a presence, a shadow looming over her and around her as her eyes adjust to the gloom. A pool of water, black as night, is before her and it beckons to her, drawing her in. She plunges her hand into the freezing water, desperately trying to reach whoever is calling her. A firm grasp latches onto her and she pulls back with all her strength. It’s a battle, and she strains against it. She hears Luke’s voice telling her to stop, to let go. But she doesn’t, she can’t, no matter how hard it is. Poe is beside her then, holding on so she isn’t pulled into the water. They fight together, and with a rush they pluck Finn from the murky depths._

_“How did you know?” she asks Poe, her voice echoing although her lips didn’t make a sound._

_He looks over his shoulder, his eyes growing wild and she sees Kylo Ren with his lightsaber raised, its deadly red beam reflected in his scarred mask. She thrusts an arm out to protect Finn but it’s Leia who is slumped dead at her feet, her vacant eyes open and staring up at nothing._

Inside her stone hut, Rey gasped loudly and sat bolt upright, unable to catch her breath and her throat full of bile. It had been a nightmare, the rational part of her brain told her, and she was awake now. But she couldn’t stop the pain in her chest as her lungs burned, barely taking in any air. She pressed a hand firmly to her sternum and tried desperately to calm herself, then jumped in fear when the oilskin draped over her doorway was pushed aside. Poe’s worried face loomed in front of her. He dropped his torch between them and grabbed her shoulders with both hands.

“Breathe,” he ordered, and inhaled deeply himself. His eyes locked with hers as he exhaled, nodding encouragingly as she copied him. “Again.”

After a few minutes Rey stopped shaking and she could form words again.

“I’m sorry, I woke you again,” she whispered. “Was I yelling?”

“No, this time you screamed,” Poe replied, finally letting go of her. “Scared the living shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” she repeated.

“You don’t need to apologize. Better now?”

“I think so.”

“Does this happen all the time? No wonder you’re so tired.”

She shook her head. “Just here. I don’t know why.” Neither statement was quite true, but it was all she could bring herself to say.

“Another reason why we need to hurry up and get off this rock once your lessons are done.” Poe shuffled back and settled the blanket over her legs that she’d kicked off. “It’s freezing in here.”

Rey looked down. “I forgot to set the fire.”

Poe clucked his tongue in disapproval and used the torchlight to locate the flint so he could get it going.

“That’s better,” he said when the flames took hold. He looked up at her. “You alright to go back to sleep now?

She nodded wanly, and he got to his feet.

“But...could you stay?” she asked quickly. “Do you mind staying with me?”

Rey knew it would sound silly to him, but she didn’t want to be alone. It certainly sounded silly to her own ears. Unnecessary and weak. It was more than the fact that she’d seen Kylo Ren appear right there in the hut, and she got the sense it could happen again at any time. And it wasn’t Master Skywalker’s ominous assertion that the power within her was something to be feared.

It was the memory of being small, alone and afraid on Jakku...one of her earliest and most vivid. That was why she suddenly wanted him close by.

Poe nodded in response without hesitation. “I’ll just get my blanket.”

Relief flooded through her. It wasn’t until he’d returned and laid the blanket on the uneven stone ground that she realized what she was asking him to do. Poe ignored her protests.

“I’m perfectly comfortable,” he said, squirming a bit until he found a good spot.

Rey didn’t believe him but she laid back down, her gaze drawn to the fire that was warming her through. It was the quiet that was disconcerting.

“Poe?”

“Yeah?”

“What was it like in the Navy? When you learned to fly?” she asked, hoping to get him talking again. She could listen to his stories as a distraction from her own foreboding thoughts.

“I didn’t learn to fly at the Academy,” he replied with a sigh. “I learned to fly in an Alliance A-wing on Yavin 4. My mother taught me.”

He propped himself up on one elbow to look at her across the flames. “I could tell you about that, if you like.”

Rey’s hand was at her mouth pinching her bottom lip, and she nodded. Poe’s face softened for a moment before he lay back down and started talking.

 

———

 

The next morning she heard Skywalker stir just after dawn, but he headed off into the gloomy mist alone with instructions to Rey to remain behind. He would find her later, when he was ready to begin her second lesson.

“When will that be?” she called after him impatiently, but received no response.

Rey bit back her frustration. The longer it took to learn the ways of the Force, the longer she had to deal with too many unknowns. There was no point trying to go back to bed. After falling asleep to the sound of Poe’s voice, she woke to his snoring, and further rest was an impossibility while he remained sprawled on his back in her hut. So instead she sat down cross-legged by the fire pit to practice reaching out with the Force. It meant emptying her mind of distractions, especially of the Kylo Ren variety. Soon an hour had passed and Poe was awake, and she actually felt calm and centered.

Poe was glad she wasn’t abandoning him for more Jedi lessons straight away, but they soon determined there was really nothing much to do to pass the time on Ahch-To. She dismissed the idea of returning to the hot spring, and had no interest in his suggestion of teaching her how to swim. There was more of the island to explore but storm clouds loomed and neither of them wanted to be stranded on a rocky mountainside in bad weather. Staying around the huts was out when the Caretakers arrived and made it clear their presence was definitely unwanted. So they made their way to the _Millennium Falcon_ , with an offer from Poe to teach her how to play dejarik.

“When did you learn to play?” she asked as they descended the stone steps.

“I didn’t,” he admitted. “Surely it can’t be too hard to work out.”

Rey grinned. “You really don’t know what to do with yourself, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You keep talking about being stuck here, and it’s been all of three days since we left the Resistance.”

“Three very long days,” he clarified. “Okay I admit, I’m used to being where the action is. Patience is not one of my virtues.”

“Why did Leia pick you for this mission again?” Rey asked lightly. “Did you do something to piss her off?”

Poe didn’t respond which piqued her curiosity, but she didn’t push him.

“If you’re bored maybe you could work on the _Falcon_ ,” she suggested, as it came into view. Rey knew there was more to be done to remedy the changes made to the ship by Unkar Platt’s goons.

“I’m pretty handy with X-wing basic mechanics, but you’ve lost me on junky old freighters. Even if it is legendary,” Poe said.

“Don’t let Chewie hear you call it that.”

“I did say legendary. But you have to admit it’s seen better days.”

“I think it’s perfect,” she said affectionately.

“Yeah, you were a _junk_ scavenger on Jakku, right? Makes sense.”

That earned him a swift shove as he activated the ship’s ramp, and the smile twitching at his mouth grew wider.

BB-8 zipped around their legs when they boarded and let out a long sequence of excited beeps that they’d returned. Rey smiled when Poe bent down to scratch its round casing, an odd interaction with a droid. She’d quickly learned that BB-8’s loyalty and affection for its master was unlike any other she’d seen, and the fact it was reciprocated by Poe delighted her. She almost felt left out, until BB-8 insisted on following closely at her heels as she inspected the ship for any necessary maintenance, not letting her out of its sight. Or out of its photoreceptor focus, at least.

She found Poe in the cockpit later, trying to reach the Resistance to provide an update on their status.

“The relay’s still not working,” Poe muttered. “Skywalker really did pick the perfect planet to hide away on.”

“Keep trying so we can find out how Finn’s doing,” she said, realizing it had been over a day since she’d even spared him a passing thought with everything else that was going on. Rey felt terrible about it.

“I’m sure he’s fine. Dr. Kalonia will look after him,” he assured her. “I bet he’s up and about by the time we get back.”

“Do you really think so?” She knew logically that Poe had no more information to go on than she did, but she wanted to hear him say it out loud.

He turned to face her square on, his expression sincere. “I really do. You and Finn will be together again soon.”

Rey smiled happily at the thought.

“You two are together, right?” queried Poe, a little tentatively.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, it’s none of my business,” he said, returning his focus to the comms panel. “I’ll keep trying to raise them.”

“He’s my friend, but we don’t have sex,” Rey said bluntly. “Is that what you meant by together?”

Poe looked like he swallowed his tongue. “Ah, no. Not exactly. That _would_ be none of my business. I meant together in a...romantic relationship kinda way.”

“Oh.” She was out of her depth with that one. Where learning about human anatomy and reproduction had been easy, once she found the right texts, Rey was less certain about other emotional bonds. They were a lot less scientific and more problematic, from what she could work out. “In that case, no.”

Poe looked like he didn’t care either way as he concentrated on what he was doing.

“But you think Dr. Kalonia will be able to fix him,” she checked again.

“Absolutely. She’s the best.”

“Maybe you should have told her about your arm, then.”

Poe narrowed his eyes at her. “And risk missing out on this incredibly exciting mission?”

Rey made a sarcastic face and went back to work on the engines.

A short time later she heard the rain through the open boarding ramp, and quickly pulled on her poncho so she could go outside and enjoy it. She couldn’t get over the abundance of water that fell from the sky with alarming frequency on Ahch-To, when every single drop was precious on Jakku. A heavy stream spilled over the edge of the ship and Rey stuck out her hand to play in it, a grin plastered on her face.

It didn’t last long. Her expression fell when the disorienting sensation returned and all sound was muted. Then Kylo Ren appeared.

He asked why the Force was connecting them (as if she’d know).

He wondered if she knew what happened when he’d destroyed Skywalker’s Jedi Temple (everything she needed to know – he was a murderer).

But there was more to it, more than what Poe had told her. She felt it when Ren looked into her eyes. Rey pushed the thought away. No matter the circumstances, he and his followers had killed the young Jedi-in-training. Ben Solo turned to the dark side and Kylo Ren was born.

He was a monster, and she told him so.

Rey was still scowling after the connection was broken. She couldn’t shake the memory of Ren’s penetrating gaze. He was opening himself up to her, showing her what he wanted her to know, not trying to take from her like he had before. She just didn’t understand why.

A wave crashed into the rocks below, shooting salty spray over her feet. Rey inhaled deeply, then turned around to find Poe standing at the bottom of the ramp.

“Who are you talking to?” he asked warily. “Who’s a monster?”

“Fuck,” Rey whispered under her breath.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe finds out, and Kylo’s back to wreak more havoc. Rey and Poe wake up together.

“Kylo Ren?! You’ve been communicating with Kylo fucking Ren?” Poe exploded, as soon as she’d told him the truth. “How long? How often?”

“Just twice,” Rey replied, steeling herself against his anger. “The first time was when I took a shot at him. I thought he was really there for a moment. But it’s just some kind of projection. I don’t know how.”

Poe paced the floor of the _Falcon_ ’s main hold while BB-8 peered worriedly at them from the corridor. “Does he know where you are? Where _we_ are?”

“No. He can’t see my surroundings, and I can’t see his. Just him. We aren’t in any danger.”

“Says you,” Poe snapped. “How do you know for sure?”

Rey crossed her arms defensively. “I just know, I can’t explain it. Don’t ask me to. I’m still trying to understand…”

“What the hell does he want with you?”

She couldn’t answer that one, at least not with an explanation that would mollify Poe. Rey just shrugged.

“What does Skywalker have to say about it?”

“I haven’t told him,” she admitted. Her gaze dropped to the floor and grew misty.

“Fucking hell, Rey!” Poe said as he advanced towards her. “You have to tell him.”

“I know. I will.” Rey couldn’t stop tears from spilling over her cheeks. She swiped at them quickly. “Just, please, stop yelling at me. This is hard enough as it is.”

“Shit,” Poe muttered. After a moment he reached out to lay his hand on her arm. Then he sighed and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry. It was just a surprise, is all.”

Rey didn’t hesitate in returning the embrace. She pressed her face into the collar of his jacket and squeezed tighter. She didn’t want to think about anything except the feeling of safety that enveloped her. She didn’t even tense up when he pressed a kiss to her hairline, she just lifted her head slightly so her nose brushed against Poe’s neck and she took a few deep breaths.

“I can only imagine what it’s like to have that asshole turn up unannounced,” Poe said quietly as he held her.

“It’s not great,” she confirmed.

“He’s not here right now, is he?”

Rey pulled away from him and let out a soft chuckle in response to Poe’s mocking tone, his attempt to lighten the mood.

“No.” She sniffed and wiped her nose.

“Pity. I have a few things I’d like to say to the creep.”

“I don’t think it works that way,” Rey said, relieved that he knew the truth and didn’t seem so angry anymore. “I think I’m the only one who can see him. It’s the Force that’s connecting us somehow.”

“Lucky you.” Poe’s hands went to his hips. “So what are we going to do about this?”

She shrugged, there were no easy answers. “I keep training with Master Skywalker. Maybe it’ll stop if I learn more…”

Poe huffed a few times, and she knew it was from frustration. He was even more powerless to do anything than she was, given the circumstances – an unsatisfactory position for the Resistance Commander. But she needed his support even if she couldn’t ask for his understanding. Rey realized how important it was to her that he was on her side.   

“And in the short term?” he prompted.

Rey thought about it for a moment. What she really wanted was to rid herself of the sinking feeling that came every time she thought about Kylo Ren. She wanted to distract herself from the helpless lack of understanding that had plagued her night and day since she fought him.

“I kind of feel like I want to hit something,” she confessed.

Poe shook his head at her and laughed softly.

 

———

 

They went to a rocky outcrop she’d spotted before, her opponent the stone monolith at its edge. Poe kept a respectful distance, but watched as she grasped her staff and went through a series of drills. She’d taught herself hand to hand combat from pilfered training holos, and she was good, she knew it. There had been little opportunity for her to put it to use, thankfully, but just knowing she was capable of defending herself made her feel safer on her own on Jakku. Her movements became faster and more strenuous as she worked out her frustrations.

When she was out of breath she offered Poe a rueful smile. She wished she had another staff so they could spar together, but he’d balked at the idea, saying she was too fierce for him. Rey walked over and took the canister of water that he offered her, taken from her bag beside him. She drank gratefully. She was ready to stop but instead he held out the lightsaber to her.

“Try this,” he said. “Please. I’d like to see it.”

Rey flushed from more than the exertion and accepted it, handing him her staff in return. She took up her stance in front of the weathered rock, centering herself before igniting the saber. At the sound of the humming blade her grip tightened, and she felt a different sort of calm – this time powerful and pure.

She repeated the drills with the lightsaber, her energy growing as her movements quickened. It was the same raw strength she’d felt on Starkiller Base. She knew it should overwhelm her – it came from a place deep inside her that she still hadn’t come to grips with – but she felt in total control. It was unlike anything she could imagine or find the words to describe.

She swiped huge arcs at the monolith, stopping millimeters short of touching its grooves with the blade. Over and over again...her arms didn’t tire, her precision perfect. So it came as a surprise when she rounded the lightsaber again and sliced right through the rock. It cut the stone as if it were nothing, burning red hot.

Rey gasped in shock as the top piece clattered heavily over the side of the cliff. She scrambled forward just in time to it crash towards the sea, barely missing two Caretakers on the path below. Poe joined her at the edge just as they looked up at her with withering glares.

“Oops,” she whispered, then called down an apology to them. She could hear the Caretakers grumbling as they went on their way.

Rey stood back and tucked the now-extinguished lightsaber into her belt. She glanced at Poe in the hopes he’d make a joke but he was staring at her with an inscrutable expression, awe mixed with something else she couldn’t name. But it made her insides feel unsettled.

“You’re incredible,” he said in wonderment. “I thought I knew, but seeing you just now…”

Rey smiled, a shy expression. She was unused to compliments but found she liked them. She liked seeing her growing self confidence reflected in Poe’s open gaze.

“You really are the hope of the Resistance.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, frowning.

“Nothing,” Poe murmured, looking at his feet. He glanced up at her again, his voice lighter. “I think that Kylo Ren fucker doesn’t know what he’s in for.”

Rey’s grin was more pronounced as they stared at each other. Then her attention was drawn to the figure behind them on the stone path, the other witness to her efforts.

Skywalker beckoned to her and with a furtive look at Poe she retrieved her bag and staff to follow him.

 

———

 

She sat in the Jedi Temple at sunset as Skywalker outlined her second lesson, another treatise on why the Jedi failed. He told her the story of his once promising young student and nephew who betrayed him. Master Skywalker blamed himself but Rey was quick to assert that it was Kylo Ren who failed _him_.

She reiterated her need for guidance. Rey believed wholeheartedly that she would not turn against him the way Ben Solo had. She wanted to tell Master Skywalker of her interactions with Ren, how the Force was bringing them together, but he continued to deny her requests for help, insisting that she not train as a Jedi.

Rey felt her hopes fading. There didn’t seem to be anything she could say to persuade him. Her longing to understand her place, to belong, was slipping away.

In the end she shared nothing with him about her connection with Kylo Ren.

 

———

 

It was late by the time she and Skywalker returned from the temple. Rey didn’t feel any better after her latest lesson. If anything she felt worse. It didn’t help that Poe wasn’t waiting up for her, and she realized that she had come to depend on him. He was more than a distraction from her current worries, he was the only one she could talk to who didn’t fear her as a threat like Luke did.

She found him in her hut already asleep, but he stirred and rubbed at his eyes when she entered.

“You’re back. What time is it?” he asked groggily.

“It’s late.” Rey crossed over to the bench to sit down, only to find it covered with brown padding. He’d clearly gotten sick of sleeping on stone, finally, and had managed to remove the bunk mats from the _Falcon_. She pressed her hand to it appreciatively, with a mental note not to tell Chewie.

“Better, huh?” He turned on his side in comfort with the padding beneath him. “Are you hungry?”

“No.” The thought of food, for once, was off-putting.

“Did everything go okay?

She nodded unconvincingly. “Go back to sleep.”

“It’s fine, I’m awake,” he said, and propped himself up. “See.”

Rey smiled sadly, and repeated the order. “Go to sleep, Poe.”

“M’kay.”

She waited until she heard his breathing even out before she pulled at the fastenings of her buns so her hair could fall loose, and she finally lay down. Rey willed herself to go to sleep but her mind wouldn’t quieten.

After an hour of staring at the sky through the hut’s smokehole, where even the stars had abandoned her due to the heavy cloud cover, Rey wrapped the blanket around herself and moved to lie down next to Poe. Closer to the fire. Closer to his warmth. He was still on his side, fast asleep, so there was almost enough room for her on the padding, too. She didn’t care about any discomfort, it was his proximity she wanted.

She positioned herself carefully so as not to disturb him, but felt him move closer to her back which made her feel even safer. Rey finally felt herself drifting off to sleep when sound shifted and her stomach clenched.

“Is it night where you are?” Kylo Ren asked, his voice echoing at first. His face glowed orange from the fire’s embers when he appeared to her from across the small space. “It’s night where I am. I couldn’t sleep.”

“I don’t care,” she replied as loudly as she dared without waking Poe.

“I rarely sleep. Not even as a child.”

Rey couldn’t begin to imagine what Ben Solo had been like as a boy. Was he always brooding? Was he lonely as an only child? Any inkling of sympathy she had was quashed when she considered that he’d had two parents who loved him. No matter what else had happened to him, no matter what struggles he experienced, she would never comprehend how he could have betrayed them or his uncle the way he did.

“I don’t expect you to understand,” Ren said.

She hated the way he knew what she was thinking. “You had everything,” she whispered angrily.

“And nothing,” he retorted, his eyes unfathomable depths.

Rey realized their connection really did go both ways as she saw images from his childhood flash in her mind, the feeling of aching loneliness that was not dissimilar to her own. She could hear the same dark, taunting whispers he had, the ones that turned enticing as he got older. Rey swallowed hard and tried to push the sensation away.

“It doesn’t excuse anything you’ve done,” she said through gritted teeth.

He stared at her with a vulnerability that disarmed her. “I know.”

Rey scowled at him. “What do you want from me?”

“You think I’m doing this? I told you, I’m not.”

“Then who? Why is this happening?”

“I don’t know,” he said, and to her surprise she believed him. “We’re both powerful in the Force. But this is something else. Something different... Special.”

Poe made a noise and shifted behind her. Rey froze, glancing over her shoulder to check he hadn’t woken. When she looked back Ren’s eyes were burning.

“Who is that? Someone is with you.” Any openness in his expression had been replaced with fury.

“It’s none of your business,” she replied, borrowing Poe’s turn of phrase.

“Is it the traitor? FN-2187? I thought I dealt with him in the forest,” Ren spat.

Rey felt the heat rise within her but she held back, if for no other reason than to torment him. He was breathing hard, barely able to contain his anger.

“You failed on Starkiller Base. Just as you will fail against the Resistance,” she said defiantly. “By the way, how’s your scar?”

Ren seethed. She could plainly see the crimson line that tracked down his face and neck, disappearing into his black robe. Rey smiled grimly, taking satisfaction in his reaction. It was heightened when Poe shifted again and his arm came to rest on her waist over the blanket. She could tell he was asleep, that the movement had been involuntary, but she looked back at Kylo Ren boldly.

“No…” he said lowly, carefully. “Not the traitor. The _pilot_.”

Rey’s face hardened as she recognized her misstep.

“A weak-minded nobody...” Ren was smiling now.

“You don’t know anything,” she said but she knew her voice sounded weak.

“I know you deserve better than rebel scum. You need someone who understands you. Someone who can teach you the ways of the Force. To show you how powerful you could be. You need me.”

Rey shook her head at the terrible thought. “I don’t want you.”

“You will,” he sneered. “You will.”

Rey squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face into the arm she was resting on. She sensed he was no longer there and didn’t bother to check. Instead she turned over, inadvertently rolling Poe onto his back, and pressed herself close to his side. He grunted in response, but did not wake. Rey risked touching him and rested her hand on his chest. She could feel the rhythmic thump of his heart through his shirt, even as her own was pounding rapidly. She closed her eyes to the sensation.

Rey pushed out everything else and focused only on Poe’s heartbeat.

 

———

 

She woke the next morning to find him looking at her intently. Sometime in the night they had moved to face each other, and Poe had ended up half on the ground due to the narrowness of the bedding. Her lips twisted into a bashful smile which faded when he continued to study her silently and unapologetically. She found herself doing the same to him.

He hadn’t shaved in days, not since they left D’Qar as far as she could tell. She thought it suited him. His hair was extra curly, something Poe had blamed on the frequent rain. The small cut in his right cheek was almost healed, and likely wouldn’t leave a scar. Not like the small circular one on his other cheek that she wanted to touch with her fingertip. She didn’t. She turned her attention to his hooded eyes that gazed at her, dark but unthreatening.

“Good morning,” he murmured eventually. If he wondered what she was doing lying next to him he didn’t ask.

“Good morning,” replied Rey.

“No nightmares?”

Not if you counted the murderous snake she’d conversed with, she thought. Instead she shook her head.

“Good.”

Poe fell silent, and she was loathe to break it but knew she must.

“I should get up,” she said reluctantly. “Master Skywalker will already be awake.”

“Okay.”

Neither of them moved, their gazes unwavering.

“What did he say, when you told him about Ren appearing?”

Rey’s lips twitched. She didn’t want to lie to him, but she also didn’t want a fight. “There’s nothing he can do about it.”

Poe let out a sharp breath but she stared at him with a calming expression in the hopes it would placate him.

“I hate that he torments you,” Poe admitted. He brushed back the hair from her temple with the lightest of touches.

Rey let the sensation wash through her whole body, comforting and thrilling at the same time. It made her throat feel full. She realized it was the opposite to what she felt when Kylo Ren appeared. Where he was cold and dangerous, Poe was warm and welcoming, familiar...and desirable.

“I hate that he hurt you,” she whispered back. “And Finn. And what he did to Han.”

A faint line formed between Poe’s eyes as he stared at her. “I don’t want him to ever hurt you.”

“That’s not what he wants.”

Poe’s frown deepened and she noticed his cheeks start to flush.

“He still wants to kill Master Skywalker,” she clarified, remembering she knew that much at least. “They fear him, Ren and his kind.”

She wanted to smooth the worry from his brow, and without overthinking it, she did...running her fingers over his forehead. His eyes closed and he sighed softly. She sensed the peace that emanated from him, practically glowing, and discovered she _was_ actually feeling it through the Force...feeling him for the first time in a way she never had before. It was fundamentally different from Ren. It was Poe’s light she could sense and absorb.

When he looked at her again, after the revelation that she kept to herself, his smile was contented.

“I’m starving,” she said with a quick grin. “Come on.”

Rey jumped to her feet before Poe could even blink.

 

———

 

Skywalker was nowhere to be found again, so Rey and Poe set off to explore the other half of the island. They managed to spend the day talking about everything but Kylo Ren. Neither of them even mentioned his name. Poe recounted his adventures as a New Republic pilot, and she found herself sharing with him the details of her scavenging life. The least depressing parts, anyway.

They gave the Caretakers’ village a wide berth but watched them go about their work from the nearby hilltop. Then they ate rations by the ocean, a sight that continued to astound her. More than once she caught Poe staring at her, enjoying her astonishment at every new discovery. More than once she grinned at him and laughed when he cracked a joke.

She left him at the Jedi huts at nightfall, insisting that she should try and find Skywalker after having kept away all day. Poe tried to dissuade her, saying everyone needed a day off sometimes and she was no exception. But she was determined to keep up her training.

Rey started for the Jedi Temple, figuring that was his usual retreat, when she heard the distant whispering. It wasn’t the ancient uneti tree this time. She didn’t think it was Kylo Ren. This was different, the voices weren’t inviting, it was more like a summoning...a pull she’d only felt once before during her first lesson with Master Skywalker.

Her stomach dropped as the foreboding image of the dark place beneath the island flashed in her mind. And she knew where she had to go.

 


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren’s back, Rey has to deal with what happened in the cave, then Poe tries to make everything better.

The whispers from the dark place continued as Rey made her way down the rocky path. The closer she got the more certain she became that she was going to learn something significant, something she’d been waiting for most of her life. The planet’s moons lit her way, and her steps were quick and sure...until she stopped in her tracks. He was there again.

“I’d rather not do this now,” she said automatically. She had barely spared him a thought all day, and now her focus was elsewhere.

“Yeah, me too,” came the unexpected reply.

Rey glanced to her side before dropping her eyes as soon as she saw Kylo Ren, bare chested and staring at her intently. Her first thought was that he looked so different from Poe – broader and pale. Combined with the fresh memory of their last interaction, his sudden appearance made Rey feel queasy.

The more she contemplated his bemoaning his lonely childhood, the more she despised him. She could never understand how he’d hated Han Solo so much that he could murder his father, and said as much to him. Rey was annoyed at herself when unbidden tears formed in her eyes, mourning the man she’d barely known but in whom she had put so much faith. In his gruff, off-handed way Han Solo had made her feel valued. And it had all been snatched away by his evil, ungrateful son.

“I didn’t hate him,” Ren said, which bewildered and infuriated her even more.

Then his words devastated her – as if he knew exactly how to hurt her the most. He brought up her parents, taunting her with the fact they’d thrown her away like garbage. Rey was stunned into silence, and immediately felt small and helpless like she had as a child on Jakku. He'd stripped her of her confidence in just a few simple phrases.

“You can’t stop needing them,” Ren went on, cruelly. “It’s your greatest weakness, looking for them everywhere. In Han Solo, now in Skywalker.”

Rey shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried to make her voice work to deny it. But deep down she feared it was true. She had never stopped believing they would return, and if it was a delusion then she had indulged herself for years. She had no memory of her parents’ faces, no inkling of their names. Just the deep-seated hope that she was good enough, that they loved her, and that they wanted her back.

Kylo Ren was speaking again and it took her a moment to focus on his words. He described the night he had left Master Skywalker’s training temple - the night, he said, his uncle tried to kill him. Rey’s chest tightened at the vision he projected, the sight of Skywalker’s crazed eyes as he brandished his lightsaber over Ren. No, not Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. He was Ben Solo in that moment, and instinctively he’d pulled his own lightsaber into his grasp to defend himself against the deadly strike.

Rey gasped, her thoughts swirling as she considered this new information, this new perspective on events that both Poe and Master Skywalker had already told her about. To her dismay she realized that Ren was telling her the truth, or at least _his_ truth. Skywalker had feared his power, just as he said he feared her own. Rey pictured the Jedi Master standing over her the same way, if he decided that her desire to train as a Jedi was really a threat...if her power really was so great, as she was coming to believe.

She shook the frightening thought from her mind, not wanting to believe it, refusing to listen to any more of Ren’s poisonous words. She steeled herself and met his gaze, and denied everything he told her.

“Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to,” he persevered, and she sensed his vulnerability again, the emotion he tried his best to keep hidden. “That’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.”

Rey was breathing hard when he vanished, trying to decide what she was supposed to do next...what (and, more importantly, who) she was supposed to believe. The wind whipped up around her and she was suddenly conscious that she’d been standing there for some time, lost in thought. She’d almost forgotten her original destination when the whispers returned. Rey felt a sense of dread this time, but she needed to know. Whatever was calling her was trying to tell her something and, somehow, she knew it was to do with her parents.

She pushed forward, finding the path again and quickly making her way towards the voices.

 

———

 

Later, after she’d entered the cave, after she’d fallen into the icy waters, Rey sat on the cold, hard stone above its entrance. Her bag and lightsaber were at her side where she’d left them. She had no idea how much time had passed since she’d emerged out of the cavern.

Rey was numb. Her knees were drawn to her chest and her arms held them tightly, but she felt nothing. Everything she’d hoped she would learn, all the questions she thought would be answered...and she was left with absolutely nothing. Just an incomprehensible vision of herself when she was supposed to see her parents, to finally know for sure who they were. Who _she_ was. Where she came from. Where she was going.

Rey felt nothing because she was nothing, she thought sluggishly. A nobody from nowhere. Master Skywalker had asked what was special about her, and she knew the answer: _nothing_.

Poe had made her believe otherwise. ‘The hope of the Resistance,’ he’d said. His words sounded mocking in her memory. He was so wrong.

She clasped her arms around herself tighter still.

“Rey?”

She had no place with the Resistance, or with Master Skywalker. She would never know what the strange power was inside her. It was useless, meaningless.

“Rey!”

She saw herself back on Jakku, stuck doing the only thing she knew, scavenging parts for meagre portions until she was aged and broken like the other women at Niima Outpost.

“ _Rey!_ ”

Someone grabbed her by the shoulders but it felt like an age until she registered who it was, and that he was staring at her with wild, worried eyes.

“Rey, answer me!” Poe said urgently, shaking her. “Can you hear me?”

She managed to nod slightly.

“What happened? Are you hurt?”

Rey shook her head.

“You’re freezing,” he said and began rubbing the bare skin between her arm wraps and tunic.

She thought distractedly that she didn’t feel cold, and stared blankly over his shoulder.

“Rey, look at me,” Poe urged, his hands now on either side of her face. “Did something happen? Was it Ren?”

Rey shook her head weakly again.

Poe let out a frustrated breath and she wondered fleetingly if he was angry at her, but the thought barely registered before it was gone, replaced by a desolation she had never felt before.

“Please say something,” he whispered, his thumb brushing her cheek. “Please, sweetheart.”

Rey looked at him, but there wasn’t anything to say. Poe pressed his lips to her forehead and held them there. Her eyes closed as she felt the smallest sensation of warmth in the emptiness.

“Come on, let’s get you up.”

Poe carefully prised her arms from around her legs and lifted her to her feet.

“Are you okay to walk?”

She wasn’t sure but nodded anyway. Poe kept an arm around her waist as they moved away from the cave, her bag slung over his shoulder, and she allowed him to lead her. Rey was vaguely aware they were heading towards the _Millennium Falcon_ , but beyond that she didn’t give it any thought.

When they got on board she heard beeping noises below her.

“She’ll be alright, buddy,” Poe said as they walked through the ship to one of the bunks.

He sat her down gently on the bed and kneeled at her feet where he proceeded to remove her boots.

“We need to get you in the ‘fresher, Rey. Quickest way to get you warmed up.”

He reached up to unravel her arm wraps and she watched his movements dispassionately. Next he undid the gray wool tunic and pushed it from her shoulders, followed by her belt.

“Okay, let’s go.”

He took her by the hand and let her to the refresher, where he turned on the water and let it run until the small room began to fill with steam.

“Can you undress yourself and get in the shower?” Poe asked, after holding her shoulders until she met his eyes.

She nodded. She could do that. Poe stared at her for a moment longer and then left her alone, closing the door behind him.

As the hot water began to penetrate her skin Rey slowly felt the fog lifting from her mind. Her muscles ached when she was able to feel them again. She remembered more clearly what had happened in the cave, and the crushing disappointment she felt, which caused her chest to start heaving with painful sobs that she couldn’t stop for a long time.

Eventually she did. Eventually she was able to switch off the water and dry herself slowly with the towel that he’d left for her. Rey exited the refresher and returned to the bunk where she found clothes laid out on one of the beds. She touched her fingers to the soft fabric and then picked up the top garment to press it to her face. It smelled like Poe. Rey inhaled deeply and chased the tender feeling that began to spread through her.

Once she had changed into the too-large sleep shirt and pants she walked out of the crew hold to find BB-8 waiting outside.

“Hello Beebee,” she said quietly, finding her voice again.

The droid let out a squeal and zipped away. Rey followed it to the main hold where Poe was on his feet and crossing the space towards her, BB-8 at his heels beeping animatedly.

“How do you feel?” he asked, the worry lines between his eyes deeper than she’d ever seen them.

“Better.”

His shoulders rose then fell with the deep breath he expelled, and he wrapped his arms around her.

“You scared me,” he murmured at her ear.

“Sorry,” Rey replied, but couldn’t bring herself to expand on the simple word.

He kept hold of her hand as he led her to the lounge seating where a mug of caf was waiting. Rey shuffled along the bench and didn’t let go until he sat down next to her. Poe placed the hot drink in her hands and she sipped it dutifully. She thought that Han had been right about the liquid being good, as she felt more like herself the more she drank.

Poe watched her carefully but didn’t question her, and she was grateful. She hadn’t meant to cause him concern, she’d just needed some time to come back to herself. When the caf was finished she offered him a small, sad smile.

“I am sorry,” she said again. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“You didn’t worry me, Rey. You scared the hell out of me. You wouldn’t talk.”

“Couldn’t,” she admitted.

“I thought… I thought he’d hurt you.”

Rey shook her head, then remembered to use her voice so as not to cause him more alarm. “It wasn’t him. There’s a place below the island, a dark place. I thought it was trying to show me something. Something I need to know.”

“Did it?”

“No.” Rey’s eyes filled with tears again but she held them back as best she could. “I thought I could find out who my parents are, that the Force could show me. But it didn’t.”

Poe took hold of her hand again. She grasped his tightly as a single tear ran down her cheek.

“All I wanted to know is who they are and why… Why did they leave me? Why didn’t they ever come back for me? What did I do to make them go?”

Rey looked at him pleadingly, as if he would have the answers, and saw that Poe’s eyes were red-rimmed, too. His thumb rubbed helplessly against her hand.

“I don’t think I’ll ever find out. I’ll never find my family. I should just let the past d...” Rey trailed off when she realized who she was quoting. The truth of his words made her shudder.

“Family can be who you choose, not who you were born to,” Poe said earnestly. “The Resistance is a family. It’s my family. It can be yours as well.”

“That’s different,” she argued with mounting frustration. “I wanted to know my parents so I could belong, _really_ belong, to people who care about me. I don’t expect you to understand. Your mother taught you to fly. Your father is still there for you. I’ve never had that… And it feels like I’ll always be alone.”

“No,” he said roughly, then cleared his throat. “That’s not true. You’re not alone. There are people who care about you, Rey.”

She stared at him morosely, needing more.

“Finn, he wouldn’t shut up about you. All he wanted was to make sure you were safe, and put himself in untold danger to do it. And Leia, she barely knows you but she sent you here because she trusts you. She knows how important you are and will be...to all of us.”

Poe glanced down at their joined hands and swallowed before meeting her eyes again. “And I care about you, more than you know. More than I have any right to.”

“Why?” Rey’s cheeks flushed at the admission, even though she didn’t understand his full meaning.

Poe’s smile was tight. “Because of who you are. Because of what you’re going to become. I don’t have any business feeling this way about a Jedi Knight. It’s not supposed to happen.”

She frowned from incomprehension until he explained.

“Jedi aren’t supposed to form these kind of attachments, everyone knows that.”

“Why not?”

Poe was momentarily at a loss for words. “I don’t know exactly, it’s just one of the rules.”

“Seems like a stupid rule to me,” she said simply. It certainly wasn’t something she’d signed up for.

“I don’t know. I don’t like the idea of Kylo Ren ever procreating,” Poe said, ever the wise-ass.

She thought about it seriously for a minute. “Master Skywalker keeps telling me the Jedi need to end. So maybe that rule doesn’t apply anymore.”

Rey looked at him hopefully, and swore the expression was mirrored in Poe’s gaze. She smiled softly before her attention was drawn to the shaking of his hand in hers, the return of the tremor that served as a reminder of the First Order’s cruelty. He tried to pull away but Rey held on. She laced her fingers through his and, with a shy expression, she bent to press a kiss to the back of his hand.

She raised her head to rest it on his shoulder and curled the fingers of her other hand around his exposed forearm. Rey hated that he was in pain, that the torture he’d suffered had damaged his tendons and nerves to the point where he’d been too afraid to seek medical help in case it threatened his ability to fly. She tried to visualize the hurt and take it away so he didn’t worry anymore, wishing it were that easy. She let the tips of her fingers graze over his skin as his cheek leaned against the top of her head, and she heard him sigh. Eventually his hand stilled as the tremor passed, and Rey reluctantly sat back against the seat.

Poe tightened his fingers around hers for a moment before letting go. “Maybe we should talk about all this later, when you’re feeling better.”

Her eyes clouded with disappointment but then Rey nodded. She doubted there was much more she could say anyway, as she was powerless to change it.

“You must be exhausted,” he said.

“I don’t want to go back to the hut,” she replied quickly. It was too close to everything she was avoiding thinking about – Master Skywalker, Kylo Ren, the Jedi.

“Me neither. Let’s stay here.”

He offered her a hand up and they walked back to the crew hold where she had changed, the one he hadn’t stripped the bedding from. She realized it must have been the main living quarters for Han and Leia, with its larger bunk. Rey quickly banished the vision of a young dark-haired boy also staying on board, being chased around good-naturedly by a Wookiee.

She sat on the bunk while Poe took his turn in the ‘fresher, waiting until he returned in sleep pants and a black sleeveless undershirt. He took a seat on the bedding and turned to face her.

“You should try and get some sleep,” he prompted, after she made no move to lie down.

She cocked her head and reached out to touch the plain silver ring hanging from the chain around his neck.

“What is this?” she asked quietly, turning the ring over in her fingers.

“It was my mother’s,” Poe said, his voice thick.

“Do you wear it to remember her?”

He nodded. “And the hope that one day I could give it to someone I love the way my father loved her.”

“I hope you do,” she murmured, still focused on the silver band.

“I don’t know. I’d have to live long enough for it to happen. That’s not exactly common in my line of work.”

Rey’s expression darkened. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth,” he said with a small shrug.

“I don’t want you to say such things,” she whispered, meeting his gaze.

“Okay, I won’t.” Poe paused for the longest moment, his eyes locked with hers, before his face began drawing closer.

Rey held her breath as she waited for him to kiss her, the way she knew people did when they liked each other. She knew little about such things, but this was instinctual. She wanted him to, and she knew it was what he wanted as well. But at the last second Poe dipped his head and instead pressed his forehead gently against hers.

“Fuck,” he muttered, barely audibly. “I can’t do this.”

Rey felt a wave of anguish. “Why not?” she breathed, moving her face slightly so their noses brushed.

“What about Finn?” murmured Poe. “He’s my friend, and if he cares about you the way I think he does, I can’t… There are rules.”

“Why are there so many rules?” Rey asked, feeling his breath on her moistened lips. “I don’t like these rules.”

She grasped the front of his shirt and pushed him back far enough so she could look into his eyes again.  

“Finn is my friend, too. This is not how we feel about each other,” she said emphasizing the point by tightening her hold. “So, please. Will you kiss me?”

Poe made a low, strangled sound that was like no word she knew in any language, then he pressed his slightly open mouth to hers, capturing her top lip. It was warm and gentle, and as he tilted his head she pulled him closer. He kissed her again, his tongue slipping between her lips in a way that made her stop breathing until she tried it on him. His stubble was pricklier than she thought it would be, rubbing against her skin as his mouth moved on hers.

Poe eventually broke away from her and looked down. He bit his bottom lip before locking eyes with her again. They both wore faint smiles.

“You’re supposed to be getting some sleep,” he said lightly.

Rey nodded, acknowledging she did feel tired. She also felt snug and contented and wanted, the way he was smiling at her. Pulling herself back onto the bunk she moved so there was room for him too, and was glad there was no suggestion he should sleep anywhere else. Poe lay down beside her and opened his arms so she could snuggle into the nook of his shoulder.

She fell asleep almost instantly, her heart beating at the same pace as his, feeling safer than she thought possible.

 


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe enjoy a brief domestic interlude on the Falcon before the banthashit hits the fan.

Her dreams were chaotic – glimpses and sensations and memories all jumbled together. When she blinked awake the lasting image was of scratches on a metal wall that seemed to go on forever. Rey took a moment to collect her thoughts before rolling over to find the other side of the bunk empty. She felt a small tug of disappointment but then remembered the events of the previous evening, carefully avoiding everything that came before her conversation (and more) with Poe. The rest of it left her feeling hopeless. He did not.

After a stop by the refresher, she wandered through the main hold of the _Falcon_ but couldn’t find Poe or the droids. They weren’t in the cockpit or the multiple cargo holds either. The ship was completely silent. Rey told herself there was nothing to worry about. But after a few minutes she started to think the worst and had difficulty determining if it was her imagination or a Force vision fueling her worry.

It was then she heard the ship’s ramp extend, Poe complaining about something, and the responses of R2-D2 and BB-8 as they came on board. Rey cursed her overreaction and settled her features into a bright smile.

“Hey,” she said as she waited at the top of the ramp. “Good morning!”

“Afternoon, more like,” replied Poe with a chuckle.

Rey blushed as the droids moved past her into the ship and Poe stopped in front of her. She noticed that he’d shaved, but other than that he looked exactly the same which seemed impossible because she felt so differently about him than she had just days ago. The corners of his hooded eyes crinkled as he grinned at her.

“You should have woken me.”

“And ruin my peace and quiet? Nah.”

“Really?” she replied with the quirk of an eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe I spent the last hour banging around the ship and yelling at the droids in the hopes it’d wake you. But you really did look like you could use the sleep.”

He reached up to tuck some loose hair behind her ear, a simple but intimate gesture that caused the same warmth to spread through her that did when he’d kissed her. Or when she’d held onto his hurt arm. Or any time he touched her, really. She had no idea how he did that to her, but she wasn’t complaining.

“I missed you when you weren’t there,” she admitted. “Is that silly?”

Poe shook his head kindly at her. When he didn’t approach any closer she took the initiative and leaned in to kiss him, tentatively, until the fingers of one of his hands were splayed across her lower back and he was tugging her closer.

“Smooth,” she murmured, rubbing her cheek experimentally against his. As much as she liked the look of his scruff, it did feel nicer on her face.

“You really have been asleep half the day. I was bored waiting.”

Rey let go and pushed him away playfully. “Where did you and the droids go?”

“Just checking the ship,” he said, and held up a mess of wires in his other hand. “Look at this… I found those little porg bastards nesting in the sensor array, so we had to check her over for damage.”

“They’re so cute though.”

“You won’t think they’re so cute if we can’t get the _Falcon_ off this rock.”

“Any luck reaching the Resistance?” she asked as they walked back into the main hold.

“The relay’s still not responding. But this is still active so I’m not too worried.” Poe held up the glowing beacon on his wrist.

Rey’s thoughts returned to Finn and she wished she could get an update on his recovery. It was something else she couldn’t control that she didn’t want to dwell on. She really didn’t want to think about anything outside of the ship, just for a little while longer.

“Your clothes are washed and dried,” said Poe, pointing them out on the table.

“You have been busy,” she teased.

“And if you play your sabacc cards right, I’ll even cook for you.”

“Oh, I’m starving!” Rey said immediately, forgetting her clothes even as she had to hold his sleep pants up with one hand to keep them on properly.

“Go change,” he ordered.

Rey made quick work of her clothes in the bunk but spent a bit longer getting her hair under control, opting to tie back the top in a bun but leaving the rest loose. She had never bothered about her appearance before – practicalities of the desert always superseded anything else – but now she checked herself over in the mirror and wasn’t unhappy with what she saw. Even if she did finish up by rolling her eyes at her own vanity before going in search of food.

Poe was in the ship’s small galley cutting some sort of yellow fruit she had tried before but still didn’t know the name of. He had a couple of other ration portions heating, and fresh caf brewing. Rey stood with her rear pressed against the bench top beside him, watching him work with her chin resting on her shoulder.

“Are you supervising?” he asked.

She nodded, momentarily losing her words as she felt an odd but comforting sensation wash through her, just by being near him.

Poe tried some of the fruit before offering her a piece, too. She ate it from his fingers which for some reason caused a flush to rise from her chest to her ears. A small smile twitched at his lips as he observed her reaction.

“Good?” he murmured.

She knew he was referring to the fruit but there was so much else she liked about the current situation that she just nodded again, her eyes not leaving his.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” Poe queried, with a level of sincerity that made her chest thump.

She didn’t know how to respond to such a question and luckily he didn’t make her. Instead he leaned in to kiss her, the knife slipping from his hand onto the bench as he wrapped his arms around her. He tasted sweet like the unnamed fruit. Just as she’d managed to get used to breathing while minimizing the time her lips were not on his, Poe’s mouth moved to her neck and there was a whole new sensation to add to the others she’d collected in the short amount of time since he’d first kissed her.

Rey hoped there would be more. She wanted more...wanted more of him in a way that she never thought she would. She had always been so guarded in her actions and feelings but it seemed so easy with Poe. It was if a door had opened the moment she met BB-8, and Finn, then Han and Chewie, and allowing them to get close to her was the build up to letting Poe into her life in a new and thrilling way.

He was kissing her again, their legs intertwined as he pressed her against the galley cupboards. She was having trouble thinking straight when she heard a long string of droidspeak.

They broke apart and looked down at BB-8 who was rocking animatedly as it chirped and beeped at them.

“Did he just say...” Rey gasped, wondering how accurate her translation was when it came to such vocabulary. She dissolved into giggles.

“Go back to your work on the ship, Beebee-Ate!” Poe demanded sternly and pointed out the door. After the droid zipped away with a last trill he turned his attention back to Rey. “Sorry, I think Artoo has been a bad influence on him.”

“I don’t mind.” And she didn’t, not when he resumed kissing her.

 

———

 

After they’d eaten and Rey realized how late in the day it was, she knew the right thing to do would be to go in search of Master Skywalker. But when she saw how heavy the rain was falling, the desire to sit through another unsatisfying lesson with the grumpy Jedi Master lost all its appeal. Instead she and Poe sat on the ship’s open ramp where she could snuggle in between his legs and watch the downpour. His arms encircled her securely, keeping her warm, and every so often he would press a kiss to her hair as they talked.

Rey decided she would never get tired of watching the rain. Poe warned her that the sight really did get old after a while, especially when it was accompanied by the wind and the cold like on Ahch-To, and that there were plenty of other non-desert planets where she could enjoy rainfall. She asked endless questions about his home world and its tropical climate, where there were only two seasons (dry and wet) and it was covered in green. Rey liked the sound of that. When he mentioned the Force tree he’d grown up with she chastized him for not mentioning it sooner, before insisting he tell her everything about it for a solid half-hour.

All the talking was followed by a period of silence where she sat contentedly in his arms, her fingers slipping under the cuff of his leather jacket to touch his warm skin. It dawned on her that his hand wasn’t shaking and hadn’t all afternoon. When she mentioned it he held it up in front of her, steady with no sign of a tremor. They didn’t discuss what had caused the change, or the timing of it. Rey just covered his hand with her own and held it close.

“Poe?”

“Hmm?”

“How did you know where to find me last night?” she asked. She had tried not to think about her disappointment in the cave. But she hadn’t told him where she was going.

“It was late, and you didn’t come back. I asked Luke and he said he knew exactly where you’d be.”

Rey pondered this – she hadn’t told Master Skywalker about her summoning to the cave, either. She wondered how he could have known, given he’d cut himself off from the Force. She sensed nothing of him when she reached out the way he’d taught her. Had he assumed she’d return to the dark place, reinforcing his fear of her growing power? It made her uneasy.

Eventually, and not only because Poe began to shift uncomfortably and complain about his back, she knew she had to get up. She couldn’t stay on the _Falcon_ with him all day, as much as she might want to.

“I should go to Master Skywalker,” she said. “I’m due for my third lesson.”

“Three’s the last one, right? Does that mean we can finally leave?” he asked hopefully.

Rey’s brow furrowed. She knew he wanted to return to the Resistance as soon as possible, that accompanying her on this mission had left him with little to do but look after her. However the idea of leaving the island and Master Skywalker, if he really wasn’t going to come with them, left her feeling like she hadn’t accomplished anything. Her Jedi training had not been much more than stories of failure and warnings to not pursue it further. She had no real understanding of her power, or her place. She had no answers about her family. All she had was an inconvenient and disconcerting connection to their sworn enemy.

“I don’t know,” she said. She knew it wasn’t what he wanted to hear but it was the truth. “Maybe we should…”

“Maybe we should what?” he prompted, giving her a gentle nudge when she failed to finish the thought.

Rey turned around so she could face him. “I know you want to go back. Maybe you should.”

“And what about you?” Poe said quietly.

“I don’t know,” she repeated.

“Leaving you here was not the mission. I’m not going to abandon you with no ship, and no way to contact the Resistance.”

“Unless Master Skywalker has a change of heart, the mission isn’t going to have the outcome Leia wanted,” she said, wishing she could make him understand even though she barely did herself. “Without him, the Resistance is never going to win against the First Order. We need the Jedi.”

Poe looked down and paused, as if debating whether he should say what he did next. “Have you ever considered that maybe Luke Skywalker isn’t the Jedi we need?”

She shook her head, slightly at first, before the enormity of the idea took hold. She didn’t want to even consider it.

“It’s not true,” she murmured weakly. “Leia said—”

“Leia knows more than you think she does. I don’t know how, but she’s General Organa and if she orders me to do something, I do it,” he continued. “I wasn’t sent here just to annoy you, or even to help convince Skywalker to return. I’m supposed to be safeguarding you above everything else. _You’re_ the mission, Rey.”

Her eyes widened. “That’s...crazy.”

“No, it isn’t. I’ve seen what you can do, and you’re only getting stronger. Even this connection with Ren which, for the record, I fucking hate… Do you think just anyone can do that? You’re the hope—”

“Don’t!” Rey snapped. “Don’t say I’m the hope of the Resistance. I don’t know anything! I can’t do what Master Skywalker does, or Kylo Ren. Two weeks ago I was on my own on Jakku and none of this was even a possibility.”

“And a week ago you faced down Ren and damn near beat him,” argued Poe. “I know it’s a lot, and this...whatever this is between us probably isn’t helping matters. Leia’s going to wanna kill me when she finds out. But I believe in you. Jedi training or no Jedi training.”

Rey tried to control her breathing as she contemplated everything he was saying. “I just need more time to convince Master Skywalker to come with us… I need to stay for a while longer.”

“You could leave right now, if you wanted to,” Poe said, an edge creeping into his voice. “You don’t need him.”

“You don’t know that. How could you possibly know that?”

“Because I know _you_.”

Rey squeezed her eyes shut, blocking his earnest face even if she couldn’t unhear his words. “You don’t understand… What if fighting with the Resistance is not what I’m meant to do? What if I have another purpose?”

“Like what?” Poe frowned, and she realized the thought had never occurred to him. He had assumed her place was with them, even before their feelings for each other emerged.

“I don’t know!” she exclaimed in frustration. “That’s the point!”

“Well when you figure it out, let me know,” he replied, apparently stung by her outburst. “Until then, I’m going to keep making sure the ship is ready to fly.”

Poe got up and went back inside without another word.

Rey sighed, emotion draining from her until all she felt was lost. She continued to stare out at the rain, deep in thought.

 


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the porgs come home to roost in this one, kids. Confrontations, revelations, and nakedness ahead. 
> 
> (Here’s where the M rating comes into play, for those who need a warning.)

Poe opted to stay on the _Falcon_ when Rey left to go in search of Master Skywalker for her final lesson. He barely acknowledged her when she found him to say she was leaving the ship, which frustrated and saddened her in equal measure.

When she returned to the huts the Jedi Master wasn’t there, but instead of looking for him Rey decided that delaying their last conversation wasn’t a bad thing. She didn’t want to leave the island, but with Poe set on returning to the Resistance and Master Skywalker’s adamant decision that he would be of no help to them, it seemed she would have little choice.   

She got a fire going in her hut and settled in front of it while she waited for him to return. Rey cleared her mind as best she could and reached out with the Force. As usual she felt nothing of Skywalker, but she could sense the other lifeforms on the island, from the various animals to the Lanai Caretakers, to Poe. He was frustrated with her and she didn’t blame him. She felt his confidence in her was misplaced – had to be, when she didn’t know herself what she was truly capable of.

Rey’s thoughts darkened. Again she felt the pull of the cavern below. She pushed it away, so as not to be seduced by the false promise of answers to her most desperate questions. But the creeping blackness kept invading her mind until she opened her eyes and saw Kylo Ren staring at her from the other side of the fire. She held his gaze for a long, charged moment.

He looked the same – more like Leia than his father in coloring, but with none of her warmth. His black, tortured eyes hid so much, but with each interaction Rey could swear she saw more of him, even if he didn’t want her to.

“This is getting tiresome,” he commented eventually.

“I agree,” she replied. They were no closer to understanding their connection through the Force, either of them.

“So…how was your day?”

Rey looked at him in surprise before spying the glimpse of a smile on his otherwise brooding features. The fact that the ridiculousness of their situation was not lost on him gave her pause, along with the realization he could joke about it. He was human, after all.

It was easier when she thought of him as a monster, she reasoned. Easier when she didn’t let herself believe his story of the night Luke Skywalker gave in to his fears, or experience it through a shared vision that made her feel like she was in Ren’s skin. She had to remind herself of the evil he had perpetrated since then.

“Why did you do it?” she blurted out, broaching the subject head on. “Why kill the Jedi trainees at the temple?”

Rey saw the emotion flash in his eyes, and heard it in his voice. “I did what needed to be done to stop Skywalker.”

“They were innocent.”

“They were Jedi, or soon would be,” Ren countered.

“Like me,” she mumbled, her gaze dropping to the flames.

“No. You’re not like them.”

Rey’s head snapped up and she wondered if he saw some truth in her, some failing, that meant all her grandiose ideas of training in the ways of the Force were for nought.

“You’re more powerful than any of them ever were, or would have ever become,” he said, his tone low and intense. “Even without training. You’re...incredible.”

She reacted to the word, the same Poe had used to describe her. This time it didn’t make her feel anything but dread.

“You don’t know yet...the true power of the dark side. But you will.” The combination of Ren’s voice and gaze was almost hypnotic, and Rey could only shake her head. “There is no more doubt. No more longing for parents who don’t want you. Or so-called friends who don’t know the real you.”

“It sounds lonely,” she said, trying to be flippant, but his eyes continued to bore into hers.

“It doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

“I’m not alone,” she responded defensively. “I have people who care about me.”

“The pilot?” Ren scoffed. “He will never understand you. He cannot fathom the power inside you. He will only ever hold you back.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. You know it is.” He watched her intently for a moment, as if reading her thoughts. Rey closed her mind to him immediately.

“You talk of the dark side and power but I see the pain in you,” she said, turning the focus on him. “I feel the conflict.”

“There is no conflict.”

“Master Skywalker was wrong to think you were already lost. He knows it. But it’s not too late, Ben.”

“Don’t call me that,” he warned.

Rey’s mouth tightened. “You are Ben Solo.”

“No, that name has no meaning anymore.”

“But it could, don’t you see?” She shifted forward on the stone bench she was perched on, knowing she had struck a nerve.

“You’re wrong. I am the master of the Knights of Ren,” he insisted. “My grandfather was Darth Vader, one of the greatest Sith to ever live. I will carry on his legacy—”

Rey frowned – she knew her galactic history as well as anyone, the legends that grew unabated after the fall of the Empire. “Your grandfather turned to the light. He died trying to save his son.”

“He was dying, he was weak at the end,” Ren practically snarled. “But at the height of his power he was the most feared man in the galaxy.”

“Is that what you want, to be feared?”

Anger seemed to surge within him. “I want… I want to take my rightful place… Supreme Leader Snoke says—”

“Your rightful place doesn’t have to be with Snoke,” she said with a sudden calmness in the face of his growing rage. “It’s not too late for you.”

“Yes, it is,” he retorted through gritted teeth.

“I could help you. Maybe that’s why the Force is connecting us.”

For Rey it was a revelation. She blinked at him as the certainty of the thought took hold. Ben Solo was the last of the Skywalker bloodline after his mother and uncle. If Luke would not help them, if he continued to reject his calling as a Jedi, maybe Ben would not.

“No. No.” Ren shook his head for emphasis. “This is about showing you _your_ path. You need a teacher.”

“I already have a teacher.”

“Luke Skywalker is a broken old man. You are more powerful than he could ever imagine. I saw it in the forest. With me by your side and Supreme Leader Snoke to complete our training, we would be even more powerful than Skywalker. We would be unstoppable.”

“That’s not what I want.”

“The Supreme Leader knows all about you. He has seen your future. And your past.”

“What about my past?” she questioned, knowing she shouldn’t be tempted but unable to stop herself. “What does he—”

Before she could go on Rey was startled by Poe’s sudden appearance at the hut’s doorway.  She was surprised to see that it was already fully dark outside.

“Is he here?” he demanded. “I hear you talking to him.”

“Poe—” Rey’s eyes darted quickly between them, and she expected to see that Kylo Ren had vanished. But he was still visible, a look of disdain on his face.

“Is the hero pilot back?” Ren scoffed.

“Where is he?” Poe went on, looking around. “Where the fuck are you, asshole?”

“He can’t hear you,” Rey pointed out, but Poe clearly didn’t care.

“We’re going to hunt you down with the rest of the First Order and fucking kill you!” he yelled into the small hut.

“I should have destroyed him when I had the chance,” Ren remarked.

“Be quiet, both of you,” she said, rubbing her temple. “This isn’t helping…”

Poe glared at her. “So what are you helping him for? What exactly is the point of these intimate get togethers? This is banthashit, Rey.”

He stormed outside, not stopping even as she called after him. Rey sighed and looked back at Kylo Ren who wore a small, gloating smile.

“You’re wasting your time with him,” he said.

“Shut up.”

Ren’s features settled into a more somber expression. “I see the anguish in your eyes. I see what he does to you. It would be so much easier if you just submit.”

She scowled. “Submit to you? Never.”

“Not to me, to your destiny. All of this…all of this is meaningless. You just need to see.”

Ren pulled off one of his black gloves and held out his hand to her. Rey recoiled automatically.

“I can show you,” he said.

His fingers remained outstretched and Rey had a sense of déjà vu – he looked exactly like she had when she’d tried to give Master Skywalker his lightsaber, the day she arrived on Ahch-To. There was an unspoken plea in Ren’s stare, and she felt an enticing pull similar to the cave. She wanted answers, and he was offering them to her. She needed help, and he was willing to provide it where Skywalker was not.

Without conscious thought, Rey slowly withdrew her hand from the blanket she’d wrapped around her shoulders and reached out. She held her breath as her hand inched closer to his, and when their fingertips touched she stopped breathing altogether.

Rey saw it all in a flash, a split second that seemed to last for hours. Ben Solo was in Jedi robes, meditating by her side. There was serenity in his features, his face devoid of shadows. He looked younger, unburdened. They studied the Jedi texts together, making meaning from the words in a way she had only dreamed of previously. He grinned, and she saw Leia with them, looking poised and calm, her eyes filled with love for her only son. There was peace. Contentment. Harmony. She felt it permeate her skin as the Force thrummed between the three of them.

Rey gasped when the vision suddenly exploded.

“STOP!”

She heard an unearthly crack as the hut around her was torn apart and she saw Master Skywalker standing above her. His eyes were wild, and for a moment she thought he was going to try and strike her down the same way he had confronted his nephew. She checked quickly and saw that Kylo Ren was gone.

Anger surged within her from deep in her gut. Rey jumped to her feet and squared off against the Jedi Master, barely noticing the heavy rain that was pouring down or the fact that Poe, wearing a look of shock, was standing only a few feet behind him.

“How are you speaking to him?” Luke growled. “This isn’t possible.”

“You lied to me! You said he knew,” Poe shouted at her, but she barely heard him above the downpour. She was focused solely on Skywalker.

“Is it true?” she spat. “Did you try and murder him?”

“Leave this island now!” ordered Luke, then glanced back at Poe. “Both of you.”

He turned on his heel and stalked away, ignoring Rey as she demanded him to stop. Poe started towards him too but before he could say anything the Jedi Master raised his hand to push him aside through the Force as he passed. The movement was not violent, and Poe managed to keep his footing, but Rey saw red. She grabbed her quarterstaff from the rubble of her ruined hut and charged towards Skywalker. Before she knew what she was doing she had struck a blow to his back and knocked him to the ground.

“Rey, no!” yelled Poe.

“Tell me the truth!” she demanded as she stood over Master Skywalker, the end of her staff at his throat. “Did you create Kylo Ren?”

She waited for him to defend himself, to deny Ren’s story, but instead he used his foot to sweep at her legs so she fell to the hard stone as well. She was back up in an instant but it was all the time he needed to use the Force to pull a metal spike from the roof of a nearby hut. He had a weapon now, the same length as hers, and as she brought her staff down to hit him again he swatted the blow away as if it were nothing. Rey let out a roar and tried again, striking over and over, but each one was deflected effortlessly. Her anger grew, the frustration causing her to miss her target until he quickly twisted the spike around her staff and sent it flying, retaliating for the blow to his back with a sound whack on her arm.

Rey yelped more from surprise than pain, but her rage only increased. Her blood felt like it was boiling, her pulse pounding in her ears. She reached out for her weapon but this time it was the lightsaber that was called to her hand. As soon as the metal slapped against her palm she ignited the saber, its blade sizzling as the rain hit it. She aimed it at Skywalker, teeth bared, forcing him back with glancing blows that he couldn’t defend himself against until he hit a step and tumbled backwards, using the Force to break his fall.

She stood over him, the lightsaber ready to strike a fatal blow. Skywalker held his hands up in a supplicating gesture but his eyes were wide and sharp.

“Rey!” Poe shouted. “What are you doing?!”

She was already asking herself the same question as she saw the blade reflected in Skywalker’s pale eyes. Rey felt shame flood her as she extinguished the lightsaber. Rain poured off her face, hiding the hot tears that leaked out of both eyes. But she was still angry, she couldn’t help it. She still needed answers.

“Was it you?” she choked out, her throat painfully tight. “Are you the reason he turned to the dark side?”

“What did he tell you?”

“He told me enough. He told me you tried to kill him. I need to know what really happened.”

Luke’s arms dropped to his side and, as he half-sat against the stone step with the rain streaming down around them, he described to her the fateful night he confronted his nephew. This time he admitted he’d sought to stop Ben’s descent to the dark side before it began, but he realized he lacked the fortitude to murder his own flesh and blood no matter the circumstances. The rest she knew – Ben Solo had fought back. And from the ashes of the destroyed training temple, Kylo Ren emerged.

“So it _was_ you…” Rey said, shocked. Ren had told her the truth.

“No.” Luke’s voice grew firmer as he drew himself up. “I failed my nephew in many ways and I may have been the catalyst for his actions that night, but Snoke had already poisoned his mind. Ben was already lost to us.”

“You’re wrong. Ben Solo isn’t gone.”

Poe took a few steps towards her. “Rey—”

She silenced him with a look. “You said it yourself, Poe… Maybe Master Skywalker isn’t the Jedi we need. And neither am I.”

Rey turned her attention back to Skywalker. “There is still conflict in him. I can feel it.”

“No,” Luke said again, shaking his head. “Rey, listen to me—”

“I’ve seen his future, as plain as I’m seeing you now. Both of you,” she continued, with a brief glance at Poe. “He _will_ turn, with my help. If I go to him, I can save him, just as you saved your father.”

“Go to him?” Poe echoed, and this time he didn’t stop until he was at her side, gripping her arm. “You can’t go to him, Rey. He’s a fucking psychopath!”

“I understand it now, why all of this has been happening,” she replied, staring at Poe with imploring eyes. “It’s what I’m here. If Kylo Ren turns from the dark side, that could shift the tide. This could be how we win.”

He let go of her arm but stood his ground. “Absolutely not, you can’t put yourself in danger like that. He held you captive last time, for fuck’s sake!”

“It’s different now. You don’t understand.” Rey ignored the memory of Master Skywalker’s talk of hubris. She was convinced of her purpose.

“This is not going to go the way you think,” Luke said with grim resignation. “Don’t do this.”

Rey turned and held out the lightsaber towards him, just as she had when they arrived on Ahch-To. This time it was a challenge as much as it was an appeal for help. Skywalker looked away, defeated.

“I thought so,” she said evenly as her arm dropped to her side. “Ben Solo really is our last hope.”

Her gaze was determined and steadfast until Luke walked away, not into his hut but out into the night. Rey took a few shaky breaths then, and eventually turned to face Poe who was staring at her with a mix of incomprehension and despair. Her stomach clenched, but before she could say anything he went quickly into his hut. She followed him.

Poe was kneeling by the fire, trying to light it with hands that shook not from his injury but from the cold and, she could only guess, raw emotion.

“You were right before, we need to stay here,” he said quickly without looking at her. “Convince Skywalker to change his mind, and take him back to the Resistance.”

“Poe, I can explain,” she said. Rey steeled herself for his anger but saw only panic when he glanced up at her.

“I heard what you said.” He shoved past her out the door, and was quickly back with the sodden bedding from her demolished hut which he laid out to dry. He gathered up the other belongings he’d left behind previously and set about restoring his hut for use.

“I’ll go find Luke in the morning,” Poe said, half to himself. “If he won’t be persuaded to help Leia, Jedi or no Jedi I’ll make him come with us, even if I have to knock him out.”

“I know you don’t believe me,” Rey tried again. “But I really do think Kylo Ren can be turned. If we can bring Ben Solo back….”

Poe looked up sharply. “There is no ‘we’ in this scenario, Rey.”

“This is something I need to do,” she stated.

The fire had barely taken hold and Poe held his hands in front of it to little effect. They were both soaked through and shivering, though she barely felt it due to the adrenaline that was coursing through her whole body.

“Then you better work out a way to do it without a ship, because you are not taking the _Falcon_ and leaving me here.”

Rey dropped to the ground beside him. “So come with me. Please. I need you.”

“No. No fucking way,” Poe hissed. “You’re crazy if you think you can save him. What happened to him being an asshole?”

“That was before…”

“Before what? Before he held you captive, and let the First Order torture you? When he did the same to me? When he almost killed Finn? He murdered his own father!”

“You don’t understand,” Rey persisted. “I need to help him. You don’t know what it’s like to fight against the dark side. To not succumb to it. There’s still good in him, I’ve felt it.”

“No!” Poe got to his feet and paced agitatedly.

She stood and stared at him, full of trepidation. “What if it were me? What if I turned, would you just write me off?”

He turned to glare at her. “That’s not the same.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you. It’s not who you are. And I care—” Poe’s words died in his throat and he fell silent. He shook his head at her, his face falling. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me? You have feelings for him?”

“What?”

“You called him Ben.”

“It’s not like that, of course it isn’t,” she said with a sigh. “It’s nothing like what I feel for you. But I do understand him, in a way I can’t explain. He’s more like me than I ever realized.”

“You are _nothing_ like that monster,” Poe growled.

“But I could be,” she countered. “Don’t you see? Without the proper training, without guidance, I’m scared I could be.”

Poe pulled her to him roughly and enveloped her in his arms. “That won’t happen. I’ll fucking die before I’d allow it.”

Rey smiled grimly into his neck at the naive thought, but appreciated the sentiment. Poe could no sooner intercede where it came to the Force than she could make him understand why she needed to help Ben.

“Please don’t do it,” he said gruffly, grasping her shoulder and waist. “Don’t put yourself in danger. Stay with me.”

She held him tighter in response.

“We’ll talk to Leia.” His mouth was at her ear as one hand moved to cradle the back of her head. “We’ll make a plan. You don’t have to go to him.”

Rey, her breathing ragged, moved until they were nose to nose, lost in swirling thoughts and the overwhelming emotion that surged through her as he pleaded with her. She knew what she had to do, but she was scared. She knew it meant leaving Poe, and she didn’t want to.

She pressed her open lips against his, hard and needing. He moaned, full of longing, as his tongue plunged into her mouth.

“Don’t leave me,” he begged between kisses.

Rey buried her face in his neck, caught between desire and desperate need, and the deep sense of purpose and obligation she felt. The latter was bigger than her, a higher calling that she knew deep down she was destined for. But in that moment she didn’t want to think about Kylo Ren, or the Jedi, or the fate of the galaxy. In that small, selfish moment she wanted to feel safe and protected and not alone.

Not now, not yet, she told herself about everything else.

“I won’t go,” she whispered before peppering kisses on his neck and jaw.

Poe made a noise that sounded like relief and blindly found her lips again with his own to seal the promise. She shivered in his arms, a result of not only the cold and the wet.

“We should go back to the _Falcon_ ,” he murmured. Water still dripped from them both, pooling at their feet even as the flames licked higher to provide some warmth.

Rey shook her head and nestled tightly against him, refusing to go anywhere. They stood there for a while as some heat began to seep back into her body. She silenced all other thoughts, blocking all feelings that weren’t about Poe.

“Sweetheart, we have to get out of these wet clothes,” he said quietly. “I’ll go down and get us something to change into.”

Rey kept hold of his jacket when he tried to step away, stopping him. She kissed him again, lips parted, exploring his mouth determinedly. Poe responded in kind, his hands running down her back until one palmed her ass. They were well matched in height, noses sliding against each other as he tilted his head for a different angle. When he abandoned her lips for her neck she sighed. He teased at her ear, nipping lightly at the lobe which caused her breath to hitch. Rey pulled back slightly and narrowed her eyes at him before her hands found their way under his jacket and she pushed it off his shoulders.

“You were right about these wet clothes,” she said softly as the damp leather hit the stone floor of the hut.

She pulled the back of his shirt out of his pants and after a few seconds of hesitation, Poe did the rest and pulled it swiftly over his head. There was no uncertainty, or self doubt…no fear or regret. Rey only felt the burning need to feel more of his skin against hers.

He took a step towards her but she held a hand against his chest. Her woolen tunic was sodden, she didn’t want him getting any colder than he already was. She unclasped the garment and stripped it off, followed by her undershirt and arm wraps so only her breast band remained over her chest. Now she allowed him closer, pressing against him so she could run her hands up his bare back as their lips met.

She wanted more. Rey’s fingers flicked through the fastening of the band and discarded it, finally able to feel all of his chest against hers. The silver ring that hung around his neck pressed against her sternum in a not unpleasant way.

“Rey—” he groaned into her mouth, hesitating even as she held him tighter. “We shouldn’t do this now.”

“Shh.” Her fingers were in his hair and she turned her attention to his jaw where fresh stubble scratched lightly against her lips and chin.

His hand found her breast and she ground against his palm, causing another low moan to escape her lips. The blood rushing in her ears distorted the sound of their mutual heavy breathing, until she recognized the familiar, unworldly pitch and peered over Poe’s shoulder to lock eyes with Kylo Ren. Her left hand tightened around him while the right continued its possessive exploration of his back.

Ren’s eyes were black, his lips curling over his teeth in a grimace. But he didn’t look away. She had no idea how much he could see of Poe, given their proximity, but based on his reaction she had an inkling. Without shifting her eyes, Rey reached between them to undo Poe’s belt then pushed his wet pants and undershorts over his hips, leaving him bare-assed in the firelight under Ren’s gaze. She stared at him, silently reiterating her choice for now, until he turned his head away before he disappeared.

Rey’s attention now fully on Poe. “I only want you, I promise.”

“Are you sure?” he whispered, his fingers slipping under the waistband of her pants.

“Of this?”

“Of me,” he clarified, and her chest tightened at his honesty.

“Yes to both,” she replied. “Yes please, to both.”

She kissed him purposefully in reassurance, once she was out of all her wet clothes too. Rey was inexperienced but not uninformed, theory rapidly moving into practice as she explored his body. Before her curiosity was fully satisfied, her hand curled around his cock in a way that made him groan, Poe stilled her movements.

“Later,” he breathed. “We have time for all this.”

Rey bit back her disappointment, and hoped that were true. She had no idea what would happen next, in the hours, days and weeks, maybe even years, before the possibility of her vision of a redeemed Ben Solo could become a reality. She wasn’t sure how yet, but she believed it.

Poe cradled her face and looked deep into her eyes. She didn’t know how she’d ever convince him of her plan, but she would try. He pressed a last kiss to her forehead before he worked on laying out their clothes so they could dry.

Rey sat down on the damp bedding and tucked her knees to her chest to wait for what came next.

 


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe share a series of moments as they head home to the Resistance.

They left the island as the suns rose. Rey and Poe had waited for a few hours in the hut, wrapped in each other’s arms for warmth and comfort but saying little. Once their clothes were almost dry she told him they should go. There would be no more contact with Master Skywalker. She was too ashamed to face him, for one, and Rey knew he would never leave Ahch-To now.

As they descended the stone steps for the last time with their gear, Rey let go of Poe’s hand and told him she’d meet him at the ship. He protested, but she reassured him that she wouldn’t be far behind him. There was something she needed to do.

True to her word, Rey arrived on board the _Falcon_ before Poe and the droids had finished prepping the ship for takeoff. She noted with a twinge the look of relief on his face, and settled into the pilot’s seat that he’d left empty for her.

“Where are we headed?” she asked, nodding to the binary beacon that Poe had connected to the ship’s navicomputer.

“D’Qar. They’re still on D’Qar,” Poe said. He smiled to himself. “Looks like we didn’t miss much.”

Rey wondered how that could possibly be true, given everything she’d been through in the past week. The past weeks, really, when she considered how little time had actually passed since she left Jakku. It felt like a lifetime.

She took a deep breath as the _Millennium Falcon_ rose from the ground, her purpose and destination clear. Rey was leaving the past behind and, with Poe at her side, would only focus on the future. Hers, theirs, and that of the entire Resistance. And Ben Solo’s. She would focus on his future, too...even if she had to keep it to herself. Maybe Leia would understand. Maybe the hope that her son could be saved would soften the blow of her brother not coming to their aid when she needed him.

Rey abandoned the thought and focused on piloting. She didn’t notice the cloaked figure who watched from the top of the island as the ship hugged the coastline before soaring away.

 

———

 

Once the ship was in hyperspace, Rey was at a loss at what to do. There was a day of travel ahead of them, and the last thing she wanted was to revisit any argument with Poe over her belief that Ben Solo would turn. She chanced a look at him and found him watching her from the co-pilot’s seat.

“I don’t want to fight,” she said quietly.

“Neither do I,” he replied.

“So do we just not talk about it?”

“Maybe. For now.”

“So—” Rey stopped when Poe got up abruptly and held out his hand to her. She took it and without a word he led her through the ship to the crew hold.

As the door shut behind her Poe palmed the lock to activate it. When he turned back to her the look on his face caused hers to flush.

“No droid interruptions?” she asked with a quirk of her lips.

“No droid interruptions,” he confirmed.

“Are you sure we have time for all this?” Her smile grew as she used his recent words against him.

Poe’s tongue flicked to the corner of his mouth and he took a couple of slow, deliberate steps towards her. “As enticing as the idea of being with you in a cold stone hut was, this is much, much better.”

He covered the rest of the ground between them then scooped her up into his arms and lifted her a few inches off the ground. When she didn’t say anything a look of uncertainty flashed in his eyes. “Unless…if you don’t want to anymore…” Poe set her feet down but kept holding her. “We don’t have to, not until you want to…not until you’re ready.”

“Poe?”

“Yeah?”

“Stop talking.”

Rey kissed him, wasting no time in pressing against him more firmly in case he was in any doubt of her choice.

 

———

 

“I like watching you eat,” Poe said as they sat in the main hold four hours into the journey. Rey had enough rations for three spread out in front of her, the sleeves of his sleepshirt pushed up to her elbows as she devoured the last of their fresh fruit.

“Why?” It was all curiosity and no defensiveness.

“Because of how much you enjoy it.”

“Don’t you like eating?”

“Sure, but not the same way you do. And most of this is barely food.”

“I liked watching _you_ eat,” Rey said suggestively as she leaned forward with her chin in her hand. She broke out in a grin when Poe’s entire face blushed.

“I—, I can’t believe you just said that!” he stuttered but was grinning too.

“What? That’s what you called it,” she replied. She wouldn’t soon forget the sight of Poe buried between her thighs. Rey had gazed at him as long as she could, until the objective part of her brain that had been cataloging every flick of his tongue and movement of his mouth shut down completely. “I liked it a lot.”

 

———

 

Poe was already half asleep an hour later, his body curled around hers in the bunk, but Rey wasn’t tired.

“When all of this is done… When we win… I want to go back to Jakku,” she said.

He made a noise behind her, and pressed his face closer to her clothed shoulder.

“You don’t ever have to go back to that place.”

“But I want to. I want to find out what I can about my parents. Someone has to know who they are.”

“Didn’t you try already?”

“When I was younger. I didn’t want to draw too much attention to myself after that. And Unkar wouldn’t tell me anything.”

Poe’s fingers threaded through hers as their hands nestled against her chest.

“Of course I didn’t have a lightsaber then,” she said. “Maybe he’d be more forthcoming now. Even if I did steal the _Falcon_ from him.”

“Maybe I’d find them,” Rey whispered later after Poe’s breathing had evened out.

 

———

 

By hour fourteen Rey had changed into her original clothes that Lieutenant Connix had had laundered and returned to her before they left, as promised. She traded her arm wraps for a spare long-sleeved shirt of Poe’s that she wore under her tunic.

“It’s too big for you,” he pointed out, tugging at the fabric of the sleeve.

She shrugged. “I like it.”

 

———

 

With only a couple of hours until they were due to drop out of hyperspace, Rey clung to him as tears streamed down her cheeks. They’d managed to avoid any talk of her confrontation with Master Skywalker for almost the entire journey, or what had sparked it. But as their thoughts turned to the realities of rejoining the Resistance, so did their conversation.

Again, Poe pleaded with her to abandon the idea that Kylo Ren could be saved. Finn, he said, would tell her the same when they saw him again.

She tried to explain, using the same argument that she had with Luke, that on the right side Ben Solo would be a powerful ally. If he turned his back on the First Order and fought with the Resistance she truly believed it could ensure their victory. She didn’t tell Poe about her vision of studying with Ben, working through the original Jedi texts that were securely stored in the _Falcon_ ’s hold after she’d brazenly taken them from Ahch-To. It was a chance to further her own training as a Jedi which was still sorely lacking. She knew that would be a step too far for Poe to accept right then.

As it was she couldn’t stop herself from crying as she asked him to trust her, to give her a chance to work out her next move, and to support whatever that turned out to be. He didn’t respond, but when she kissed him – hoping for reassurance of his attachment to her, at least – they ended up back in the crew bunk ( _their_ bunk, she realized). And they stayed there until BB-8 started beeping at the closed door that there was less than half an hour to their destination.

 

———

 

“We should talk later,” Poe said as he pulled his clothes back on, trying to smooth out as many wrinkles from his shirt as he could. “Leia will want a debrief straight away, but after…”

“I’ll need to see her, too,” replied Rey. She was a little slower getting up, a blanket still wrapped around her bare shoulders as she sat on the bunk and watched him.

“I have to deliver my mission report.”

“Oh, right.” _I was the mission_ , she thought. “Do you have to tell her everything?”

Rey kneaded her foot nervously. The closer the time came, the less certain she was of Leia’s reaction to any discussion of her son. Kylo Ren had murdered Han Solo. The First Order had destroyed the Hosnian System. Leia Organa was the leader of the Resistance. Rey had no idea how the General would reconcile all of that.

“Everything,” Poe confirmed. “Including this. Us.”

“Why?”

“I’m not a very good liar,” he admitted.

“What will you tell her? About us.”

Poe let out a sigh and rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. “I have no idea. I honestly don't know. I never thought…not for a second... But there is an _us_ , right?”

Rey nodded, her eyes shining. “Even though you were a bit of an arse at first.”

He chuckled softly. “Yeah, I was, sweetheart,” he said, emphasizing the sarcastic term of endearment he’d used on her during their early interactions.

Rey moved to kneel on the bunk as he stepped towards her.

“I like the other way you say that,” she murmured as his arms snaked around her waist. “When you’re not being an arse.”

Poe whispered the word again into her ear, tenderly, like a confession, before kissing her neck and working his way slowly back to her lips.

There was another, more insistent beep at the door.

“We’re coming!” Rey said at the same time as Poe yelled at this faithful droid to fuck off.

 

———

 

They settled back into the cockpit, fully clothed and presentable, in time to complete the travel through lightspeed. When the ship dropped out of hyperspace, Poe transmitted a clearance code so as not to delay their approach to the Resistance base.

He flicked on the comm-link and scanned for the tower frequency. Rey’s eyes narrowed as she flew the ship towards the planet surface. It took a moment for her to register what she was seeing, but when she did her heart dropped.

“Poe.”

He was switching channels trying to raise a response and wasn’t paying attention.

“ _Poe_ ,” she said, this time more urgently.

He looked at her then followed her gaze through the cockpit.

“No. No, no, no…” he muttered under his breath. He leaned forward as far as the console would allow as they drew closer.

The rocky planetary ring dominated the view of D'Qar, but there was no mistaking the extensive debris field below it. Soon pieces of metal and materials started hitting the _Falcon_ ’s shields, bouncing off without causing damage to the ship. Poe scrambled from his seat to get a closer look.

“That’s a TIE solar array,” he said, his voice tight.

The rest of the floating parts were too small to identify. Then Rey saw a hunk of metal at the same time as Poe did. It was part of an S-foil. Not far behind it was another, unmistakably from an X-wing. He snatched up a headset and tried to raise the Resistance tower again. There was no reply.

“The beacon pointed us here,” Poe reasoned. “They have to be here.”

“Maybe the beacon is here,” whispered Rey, as they passed through more twisted, carbon-scored metal.

Their worst fears were confirmed when they cleared the upper atmosphere and flew low enough to see the structure of the Resistance main base. Except there was none – only a black, gaping hole where the hangar had been, disappearing deep into the ground.

Rey brought the _Falcon_ ’s scanner online, searching for any signs of life, while Poe stared silently at the destruction.

“Nothing,” she reported tentatively to try and shield him from the news.

In addition to the tech, she also reached out with the Force. Rey was unsure if it would even work but she hoped that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to sense Leia’s presence, or anyone else left at the ruined base. However there was nothing…nothing except the sinking feeling that _he_ had been there. Kylo Ren had been nearby when the base was destroyed, she knew it.

Neither of them said anything for a minute, then the tense quiet was broken when Poe slammed his fist viciously into the console a couple of times. The cockpit sustained no damage but Rey could see the torn skin and blood on his knuckles.

“We need to get out of here.” She checked the scanner for signs of any transmitting vessels, knowing space scavengers wouldn’t be far away once word got out that there had been a First Order attack. 

“Where would they go?” Rey asked, when Poe still hadn’t acknowledged that he’d heard her. “Poe?”

“What?” he murmured, still staring darkly out of the viewport as Rey banked the ship away.

“If they evacuated the base, like you said they would... Where would Leia take them?”

He shook his head imperceptibly. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do,” she snapped, needing to get this attention. “You need to tell me where she’d lead them.”

“Look what they did to the base… That firepower could only have come from a Dreadnought-class warship.”

“They could have evacuated in time.”

Poe frowned, still not looking at her, and murmured grimly, “Dreadnoughts are fleet-killers.”

“You know her better than I do. The General would have had a plan.”

“She had the beacon... She was wearing it when we left.”

Rey reached out to grip his arm, hard. “Commander, the longer we stay here, the more danger we’re in. The First Order could come back, or anyone else who wants to fight over what’s left. They’re not getting the _Falcon_ , so we have to _go_.”

She didn’t know if it was the use of his military title or the initial shock starting to wear off, but Poe finally nodded and turned to the navicomputer.

“If they were caught in the middle of an evacuation they would have had the ships jump to a rendezvous point in deep space,” he mumbled more to himself than her, before shouting out the cockpit opening. “Beebee-Ate! I need you, buddy.”

With the astromech’s access to its databank of encrypted Resistance coordinates, they narrowed the options down to a handful that would be a likely destination. All Poe could do was pick one, and he plugged the details into the navicomputer.

“I have no idea if this is right,” he said.

“If it’s not, we keep looking,” replied Rey.

Poe met her eyes which she hoped were full of reassurance and strength, then he nodded. “We’ll find them.”

“Yes we will.”

Rey placed her hand on the lightspeed drive lever and waited until he did as well. Together they pushed forward on the control and the _Millennium Falcon_ streaked into hyperspace...into the unknown.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm off to hide now, byyyyeeee! 
> 
> Thanks SO much to everyone who took the time to read this, and for the all support through comments and kudos. You're the best.


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